In the wake of the Oscar drama that Hollywood is still reeling from/commenting on, it seemed to be expected that Trevor Noah would tread lightly with the jokes for his own hosting gig this week. Specifically, for the Grammys, held in, of all places the MGM Grand in Las Vegas. Of course, it was originally going to be held in L.A. (where The Slap happened) at the “Crypto.com” Arena before getting rescheduled on account of Miss Rona. Which now seems fortuitous as maybe being in Los Angeles for an awards ceremony so soon after would have felt too raw anyway (not that the town is any stranger to the word, even if it’s masked behind a veneer of passive aggressive pleasantry).
Like every other still-existing awards show, the Grammys, too, have seen fit to overhaul their awards categories in a bid to promote the notion of “inclusivity.” And shouldn’t music, of all things, promote “unity”? If not through class, then at least through a diminishment of racially-motivated divisions. That’s why, all of the sudden, it was very noticeable to feel like one could barely catch a glimpse of the music videos being played in support of the song being announced in the running due to the time crunch required to show all ten nominees (and again, this is part of how TikTok has fucked up the brain in terms of time limit to attention span ratio).
In any case, the ceremony opened with the annoyingly arrogant (“comedic bit” or not) Silk Sonic a.k.a. Bruno Mars and Anderson .Paak pretending it’s still the 70s (as many people are, because at least back then, there was debauchery and inflation instead of just inflation). To further highlight the pratfalls of inflation as it relates to gas prices, Olivia Rodrigo performed her signature, “drivers license,” next—complete with the vintage Mercedes from the video. Seeming to be more “on” than usual with her emotional delivery, it was as though Rodrigo wanted to make one final plea for a Grammy sweep. Alas, she would have to settle for a “mere” three awards, including the moniker usually deemed to be the kiss of death: Best New Artist. Though it didn’t seem to do any harm to one of Rodrigo’s few contemporaries, Billie Eilish (unless you count “harm” as not winning any Grammys whatsoever this year).
As for Eilish’s performance, she went through her usual “Happier Than Ever” gambit with Finneas at her side, the only thing being markedly different was that she happened to be wearing a Taylor Hawkins shirt while doing it. An act that was branded as a “tribute.” Even though the real one came later when Noah introduced the In Memoriam portion of the Grammys with a compilation video devoted solely to the drummer before leading into a more “standard-issue” version of a tribute. One that had no right to be so emotional, goddammit. But managed to be thanks to the harmonized performance of a few of Stephen Sondheim’s best-loved songs by Cynthia Erivo, Leslie Odom Jr., Ben Platt and Rachel Zegler. This included the always gut-wrenching “Tears of a Clown.”
A more levity-laden highlight was the “she’s wearing the same dress as me” stunt pulled by Dua Lipa and Megan Thee Stallion before presenting the award for Best New Artist. If it sounds familiar, it’s because it’s the very same shtick Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston pulled at the 1998 VMAs before presenting an award for Best Male Video to, um, Will Smith. Forever omnipresent, it would appear. To settle the matter in Dua and Megan’s case, Donatella Versace (who has been having a bit of a moment lately thanks to Britney’s Instagram) came up on stage to “rip” the gowns off so that they would both look “custom.” Problem solved. And yes, the bondage-inspired styles of the frocks paid homage to Versace’s 1992 ready-to-wear show, which also spilled out onto the red carpet of the VMAs that same year, as evidenced by Cindy Crawford, who, little did she know, was being directly affected by Madonna’s Erotica era.
And, speaking of such mayhem-making icons, the Grammys did feel rather stale in certain regards because of how wholesome they were—and in Vegas of all places. A joke from Doja Cat about being in the bathroom before accepting the award for Best Pop Duo/Group Performance was the height of “titillation.” Even the reason for SZA hobbling onstage with crutches to join in the acceptance lacked a lurid reason: “It’s very funny because I fell out a bed right before it was time to leave and get ready for this. Like the day before, but that’s the way it goes.” The way it goes is also this: gone are the days of true rabble-rousers and rock stars that might have made the show interesting, mainly because when something “interesting”—no matter how faint—happens nowadays, it’s deemed cancel-worthy/too controversial.
Even Lady Gaga, once known for at least being sartorially envelope-pushing, seemed to have been infected by her time onstage with Liza Minnelli at the Oscars (and by the way, for someone so supposedly “New York,” she’s latched onto Hollywood’s titty quite firmly). That’s why she showed up looking and sounding like a Judy Garland knockoff to honor her Love For Sale recording with Tony Bennett, who appeared only briefly in a pre-taped video to introduce her. It’s a far cry from showing up to the red carpet in an egg and “hatching” out of it, as she did in 2011.
The awards could have even once upon a time been counted on for being controversial purely as a result of who didn’t show up (this year, it was Ariana Grande, for no ostensible reason other than she wasn’t feelin’ it). Like Sinead O’Connor refusing to appear in 1991 despite winning the awards for Best Alternative Album, Best Record, Best Music Video and Best Pop Vocal Performance. Ironically, all of this was in support of the album titled I Do Not Want What I Haven’t Got. Then there was Rihanna’s cancelled performance at the 2009 Grammys after Chris Brown smacked the shit out of her the night before. Though that wasn’t nearly as jaw-dropping as the two showing up together at the 2013 ceremony after RiRi took leave of her senses and got back together with him.
Even the acceptance speeches left one feeling a bit sour. For example, although Olivia Rodrigo might hold Taylor Swift up as her role model to emulate, she kept her thank yous decidedly virtuous—in a way that perhaps Taylor would have before she was hardened by her Shakespearean feud with Kanye (both were nominated for Grammys this year as well, for evermore and Donda, respectively). One that still reared its head during her acceptance speech at the 2016 Grammys, when she shaded, “There are going to be people along the way who will try to undercut your success or take credit for your accomplishments or your fame.” As Sour’s inspiration, Joshua Bassett, has already tried to do.
But for now, Rodrigo is “sweet” (not sour) enough to just thank her parents. Which is even more wholesome than Adele gushing about how Beyoncé should have won for Lemonade at the 2017 Grammys rather than her own “paltry” 25 as she seemed to take a cue from the Kendrick adage, “Bitch sit down, be humble.” That was the overall vibe emanating from everyone (especially Jon Batiste) at this year’s Grammys—except for Silk Sonic. And Donatella, who had to get up out of her seat to tailor some dresses.
