For anyone who has listened to Amy Winehouse’s debut album, Frank, after Back to Black came out, it was, no doubt, something of a shocking auditory experience, not just sonically, but also in terms of lyrical content. The independent anthems of Frank that were far more empowering than that certain Destiny’s Child cut, such as “Stronger Than Me,” “I Heard Love Is Blind” and “In My Bed,” are in direct contrast to the self-loathing, lovelorn singles of Back to Black, which included “You Know I’m No Good” and “Love Is A Losing Game.” After going through the emotional ringer with Blake Fielder-Civil, however, all traces of the former self-reliant, self-sufficient girl we came to know and, if not understand, at least appreciate, on Frank had disappeared into a puddle of insecurity and sadness on the floor of some dive bar. And who among us hasn’t been there, really? Hence, the wild success of Back to Black as a result of so much euphonious relatability.
Thus, it’s been a rather refreshing reminder to be met with a demo that Winehouse created when she was just seventeen years old with Camden Town OG Gil Cang and composer James McMillan before being taken under the wing of Simon Fuller at 19 Management, ultimately getting signed to Universal after having her debut produced by Fuller.
But before Fuller entered the picture, Winehouse was flying solo trying to make something happen, and it is instantaneously evident with “My Own Way” (try not to think of the similarly titled Fleetwood Mac or Frank Sinatra song) that, as Cang saw fit to remind the world, she possessed an undeniably raw talent and was therefore destined for stardom. As Cang recently told the Camden New Journal, “I found [the demo] again last week and thought, ‘I’ll put it out there so people could hear it.'”
Opening with the same sultry guitar and jazzy horns that would become the staples of Frank, Winehouse sings, “I’ve never been in love before, such a foolish thing to be, seems to me the price is high so I’ll keep my own company and I’ll do what I want when I feel.” A brief musical pause then allows Winehouse to lay further into those naive enough to play into the con, noting, “Watch them fall so easily, temporary insanity/Some say that true love is blind me/I like to clarify, I just take my own time/and I’ll go my own way/I walk when I wanna, talk, talk when I wanna/Finding my own way.” Very plainly enjoying the freedom of having no one to consider or pander/genuflect to, Winehouse’s youthful bravado and exuberance saturates every note of the elaborate (especially for a demo) track.
She further explains her commitment to the self over another by crooning, “Seems to be illogical, love that’s unconditional/Give your heart to someone else, but save a little for yourself/That’s why I, I’m taking my own time.” In many respects, the song is an homage to one of the few modern musical acts Winehouse ever expressed having any admiration for, Salt-N-Pepa. Saucy and sovereign, Winehouse owns her liberation from love in a way that–had one only ever heard the cuts from Back to Black–would never imagine her to be capable of.
And though she doesn’t rule out the possibility of, if nothing else, at least a dalliance, she justifies her rightful reluctance to get overly involved with anyone via the breakdown, “Don’t get me wrong it’s kinda cynical/But it scares me though, so I’m careful with my heart/It’s the only one I’ve got.” If only she had persisted in being just a bit more cautious with it before handing it over so suddenly and readily to a little asshole.
https://youtu.be/YZrtSdRS3cs
