While the notion of riding the subway in any decade has never exactly been associated with the words “glam” or “fun,” Mariah Carey, in all her self-parodying diva ways, has decided to reinvent the wheel of what the “average” commute might look like in the forever (despite gentrification) cesspool that is New York. In Mariah’s version, it’s a colorful ride that warrants wearing furs and shimmering sequined dresses (alternating primarily between two different ensembles of this bent throughout the spontaneous dance party).
And, because it’s Mariah’s World, she also gets a largely empty subway car (that for some unknown purpose of mise-en-scène also includes a mannequin in the background during a moment of Mariah being “alone”) that offers plenty of different seat options–just as it would have in the 80s when everyone was too fucking terrified to ride the train during off hours (refer to the white-centric phobia as epitomized by the gang fight ending in a knife to Brad’s foot in Adventures in Babysitting). Rolling her eyes and making the quotes gesture, Mariah shows off her ability to laugh in the face of petty ex-managers like Stella Bulochnikov, who apparently pisses on assistants in between calling them “Armenian whores.” But that’s all just commonplace behavior in Russia, no?
In any case, “A No No,” though in part inspired by Bulochnikov being just another one of many “snakes in the grass” that have forced Mariah to “cut the lawn” sooner or later, is just as good a reason as any to celebrate Mariah’s New York roots (even if she is technically from Long Island–a.k.a. J. Lo, Nicki, Lil’ Kim or Cardi legitimacy she does not possess) by paying visual homage to one of the theoretically great monuments of what it means to live in the city.
Wrangling a variety of backup for her “showtime”-inspired transport (though would that showtime ever looked this charming and whimsical as opposed to making you fear for your life that some under seventeen asshole is going to hit you in the face with his pole positions), Mariah also enlists her twins, Moroccan and Monroe, as well as mainly consistent boyfriend Bryan Tanaka, to join her on the time warp to a simpler, more light-hearted era (despite being “edgier” and rife with the AIDS scare that tinged not just sex but the very idea of living in New York in the 80s with even more of a touch of what Simba would call “laughing in the face of danger”).
And there’s no lack of props either: Mariah with a basketball here, a giant teddy bear being passed around there (and of course plenty of strategically placed ads for the Caution album)–it’s almost enough to make one contemplate bringing such accoutrements on their own next subway ride to attempt re-creating even a modicum of such solidarity. But as we all know, most commuters are either too oblivious (what with their AirPods) or too enraged by having to go to a job that allows them to barely survive or do any of the activities they were able to do as a tourist to much care for “engaging with their fellow man.”
As Mariah concludes with the breakdown, “Parlez-vous français? I said ‘non.’ Lemme translate it, I said ‘no.’ I can say it en español: ‘no’ (no no no no). Portuguese for you: ‘não.’ Japanese for you: ‘Īe,'” one almost suspects she’s saying it to the very idea of the MTA itself. So though she might be saying “yes” to her version of what $2.75 currently buys in terms of getting from point A to point B, one would like to believe that somewhere in the video is an underlying manifesto that speaks to her definitely saying “a no no” to what the commoner must endure in his daily journeys through New York’s clogged subway arteries.
