As part of the Woke Media Mafia of New York City, it’s somewhat surprising that Saturday Night Live would even try to touch the legendary Miss Britney Spears at this point. Knowing what we all do about her overly scrutinized history—as even the most unversed in her situation was apparently made aware because of an overrated “documentary” called Framing Britney Spears—it seems unfathomable that the overly maligned pop icon could still be used as fodder in any way. And yet, lo and behold, the “Easter” episode of SNL with Lizzo as both host and guest chose to do just that.
Ironically, in spite of the attempt at a “pleasant,” “good-natured” joke during the cold open (ultimately adding up to a non-joke because of how much they wanted to tiptoe around “outright” wound-picking), Spears would show her own true good nature (or perhaps concerted oblivion) by posting a video of Lizzo just two days after. Specifically, one in which she’s giving a talk that directly contrasts what Eminem said when he rapped, “I am whatever you say I am.” Lizzo, instead, posits, “Don’t be hard on yourself. Just remember that you are. Remember that: You. Are. You are it. You are whatever you say you are and you are whatever you believe. You’re not what these people say you are. You’re not what society says you are. You are whatever the fuck you say you are, so look in that motherfucking mirror and remind yourself of who you are. Because you are that bitch.”
In short, she’s basically paraphrasing what Mufasa’s ghost was saying to Simba’s reflection in The Lion King. Nonetheless, everyone—especially white women—take the words of Black women as “Church” nowadays, in some tainted bid for “staying relevant.” Which is why Britney wrote of the video, “Sometimes when it’s broken down like that… I feel we hear it a bit better!!! It settles in my bones that way… I’ve had life coaches and even therapists but sometimes you can get blessed and hear the words we need to hear from someone that really makes you look at yourself with new eyes.”
And yet, no one on the SNL writing team was looking at Brit with new eyes on that Lizzo episode. Opting to already bring Britney’s baby news into the public commentary forum with an “Easter Wishes” introduction from a smattering of celebrities ranging from “Jared Leto” to “Elon Musk.” Whose portrayal by Mikey Day was followed by Chloe Fineman as (once again) “Britney” saying, “Hey y’all” (making her sound more like Miley Cyrus). “It’s me, Britney—and I bet you didn’t think I could do this.” She then proceeds to mock Britney’s usual brand of dancing as seen on her many Instagram videos. In a form-fitting red bodycon dress also meant to play up Spears’ persona as some kind of image-obsessed tart, she continues, “Now, remember six months ago, when everyone was like, ‘We need to get her out of this conservatorship’? And now you’re like, ‘Someone’s still gonna check on her, right?’” The audience laughter then pours in, adding to the cringe of it all. “Well, don’t worry. I’m finally free. And I’m having a baby! I just pray that my baby is born, happy, healthy and with the power of attorney.” The laughter at this is slightly less pronounced, but comes—in a forced manner—regardless. She then does her imitation-Britney twirl again as the crowd cheers her saying, “Happy Easter everyone!”
But there was nothing “happy” about it if Britney, after over twenty years of having her life choices constantly used as both daytime and late-night fodder, is still being thrust upon the celebrity mockery pyre in this way. No matter how “harmless” it was meant to be. Britney, if anyone, doesn’t need to be any further wielded for the purposes of “a laugh.” In fact, the only other pop star who can comprehend how played being made fun of repeatedly for no good reason is Madonna. Of course, the “good reason” given in her case started with the same one it was for Britney: being a “slut.” A.k.a. relishing her own sexuality. And that is the first “misstep” any woman in the public eye can make in our patriarchal society and its according media juggernaut. As Madonna grew “old” (“old” being considered when she reached her mid-thirties in the 90s), the condemnation was no longer about only the fact that she was a “whore,” but that she dared to continue flaunting any sign of sexuality past the “appropriate” age.
Britney, too, receives her share of critiques on this front in the comment section, having been likened to a washed-up stripper with the way she continues to “carry on” in her—gasp!—skimpy outfits as she prances about. Because, once again, no matter how good a woman looks, her age shall brand her as Unfit To Wear Anything But A Burka after, at the maximum, forty. It remains to be seen if both Madonna and Britney have paved the way for the generation of pop stars about to enter their thirties, ranging from Ariana Grande to Charli XCX, to be “allowed” to continue to act perpetually in their twenties. Simply by choosing not to be put out to pasture at all (as Madonna once phrased it in a 1992 interview with Jonathan Ross).
Whatever happens next for Britney, whether she chooses to continue putting out music or not, SNL has made it apparent that no matter how much strife a woman goes through, the public is convinced she can always endure some more via the ceaseless lampooning of her life.
