As though to prove that a girl needs to have “daddy issues” (that odious and blame-shifting term) in order to be driven into the devilish arms of the entertainment industry, Christina Aguilera has chosen to address her own in the first single from La Luz (the third EP to comprise the complete Spanish-language album that is Aguilera, which began with La Fuerza). Called “No Es Que Te Extrañe,” it’s a song that translates to: “It’s Not That I Miss You.” Thus, with the title alone, Xtina cuts her father, Fausto, instantly to the quick. A patriarch who, in case the video doesn’t make you aware, was a U.S. Army soldier. And, as the video also makes clear, Xtina must have seen “Confessions of a Broken Heart (Daughter to Father)” when it was released in ’05.
Directed by Lohan herself (“multi-faceted talent” that she is), she also featured her sister, Aliana, in the narrative as they re-created some childhood scenes of being sequestered in their room as their father, Michael, abused their mother, Dina. Aguilera, too, had a younger sister that endured the traumatic effects of living in such a household—except that Aguilera seemed to be the only one between the two to use music as her escape from the nonstop war zone. Obviously, Fausto wanted to bring the war feel from his Army deployments back home. Aguilera’s mother, Shelly, however, couldn’t endure such an environment “till death” quite literally did them part. So it was that she divorced Fausto in 1986 and moved to a suburb of Pittsburgh with her daughters.
Despite getting her children “out” before it was too late, such an experience never leaves the psyche. At least not until expunged in some way, whether through therapy and/or an artistic channel. Lohan, at eighteen, knew long before Xtina that “art” was the way. Even if it was really bad art that probably should have remained a journal entry, and only had the luxury of being disseminated because she was “hot” at the time. For, as the single’s producer, Kara DioGuardi, remarked, “If you solo the vocals you’ll hear race cars, because we brought the studio to [Lindsay’s] trailer on Herbie: Fully Loaded. I’m not kidding! She had no time to do the record, so she would be on her lunch break, and I’d be like, ‘Throw that thing down your throat and get over here, ’cause we got to finish these vocals!’ So I sat for fourteen hours on the set and would grab her for, like, ten minutes at a time. The poor girl. That’s the reality of young Hollywood. When they’re hot, they’re worked to death.” Part of why she likely hasn’t worked much since that “white-hot” period.
Xtina, on the other hand, has remained on the scene since her “teen queen” days in the face of many critical “bombs,” including the now-appreciated 2010 masterpiece that is Burlesque. A cult classic that was released just months after another underrated opus from Aguilera, Bionic. As for Lohan, A Littler More Personal (RAW), would be the last album we saw from her after 2004’s Speak. For this was the brief blip in time when she actually had the attention of Mariah’s nemesis, Tommy Mottola, who urged her to direct “Confessions of a Broken Heart (Daughter to Father)” via some of his own “fatherly” advice: “No one knows this song better than you, no one knows this situation better than you.” Except, of course, Christina. Who not only also directed the video for “No Es Que Te Extrañe” (in conjunction with Mike Ho), but is only too aware of the pervasiveness of abusive relationships putting children in the crossfire as collateral damage.
Back in 2019, when Aguilera was awarded the Deacon Bonnie Polley Community Hero Award from a domestic violence shelter called Shade Tree in Las Vegas, she stated, “It’s just disgusting and it happens far too much to people… and it is very dear to my heart, because I did grow up in [violence] and am a survivor of it… and I’m affected by it.” Needless to say, even still, with lyrics like, “No es que te extrañe/Solo es curiosidad saber que estás hacienda/Si alguna vez te has preguntado lo que siento/No te preocupes que yo nada estoy pidiendo.” Which translates to: “It’s not that I miss you/I’m just curious to know what you’re doing/If you’ve ever wondered how I feel/Don’t worry, I’m asking for nothing.”
Just the opportunity to relive the events in this song and accompanying music video that opens on a “typical” American household. Of course, the “perfect” U.S. life of living out one’s middle-class, capitalistic dreams is known to be belied by a certain misery. That much is made apparent as a young girl meant to be Xtina plays with a Barbie in front of her doll house. The ephemerally tranquil vibe is ruined when the military man modeled after her father walks in dressed in his fatigues. Crosscuts to adult Christina standing in a field as though recounting the story with the benefit of perspective harken back to what P!nk was doing with the 2002 single, “Family Portrait.” In said Sophie Muller-directed video, adult P!nk hangs out with her pleading childhood self as the two sing, “This I come home to/This is my ‘shelter’/It ain’t easy growin’ up in World War III/Never knowin’ what love could be.”
Like Lindsay and Xtina, P!nk was briefly of the logic that all the fighting was somehow her fault, singing, “I promise I’ll be better/Daddy, please don’t leave.” Lindsay, too, wonders in the lyrics of “Confessions of a Broken Heart (Daughter to Father),” “Why’d you have to go?” Later adding, “I don’t know you, but I still want to/Daughter to father, daughter to father/Tell me the truth, did you ever love me?” A question the young Xtina likely asked herself repeatedly after witnessing any number of rows between her parents.
Comforted by her fictionalized mother in the video, young Xtina also appears in the reflection of the sliding glass door next to grown-up Christina in the pane next to her. The young Xtina then begins singing into a toy microphone, making the viewer take note of this as the period in her life that prompted her to start retreating into music as a refuge. Another moment in the video shows young Xtina trying on her father’s military jacket in the mirror, echoing the image painted by Lindsay when she sings, “And I wear all your old clothes; your polo sweater/I dream of another you, the one who would never, never/Leave me alone to pick up the pieces.” Just as Aguilera was left to while her mother cried over the abuse, yet chose to stay for as long as she did in the hope that, somehow, things—Fausto—would change. But, as it is said, people don’t.
As the tempo picks up dramatically at the one-minute, forty-eight-second mark, it’s clear that Xtina, nonetheless, has tried to alchemize her pain into joy. If nothing else, because it is Fausto’s heritage that led her to tap into this Spanish-speaking side of herself (not to mention getting into music in the first place because of his abuse), which began with the Mi Reflejo album back in 2000. Something Britney Spears seemed to oddly shade recently when she made the comment on her Instagram, “Well someone was singing about ‘What A Little Girl Wants.’ I mean maybe a pink cloud told me either way… In conjunction to most performers who praise their roots and father’s background even if he abused them…” This was also on the heels of Britney writing “Happy Birthday Fausto” after Xtina, coincidentally, appeared in a video for American Greetings’ “Smash-Ups” with a balloon in the background that said, “Happy Birthday Jamie” (the name of Britney’s much-hated father). Britney’s inexplicable beef with Xtina aside, one does wish that the fellow pop star would pen her own coping mechanism song about the pain caused by her father. For it might prompt her to lash out less at Aguilera. And yet, considering Brit wants to be nothing like her, it seems this therapy method is off the table.
As the video’s sense of drama heightens, we see adult Xtina dressed again in her father’s military fatigues in front of a burning couch outside of her burning house as a barrage of memories—both good and bad (mostly the latter)—play in the background of her mind. But after all that turmoil, all that suffering, to conclude the video, Xtina offers a voiceover that speaks to the theme of the EP’s title, La Luz (The Light). Wanting to exit the place of darkness she had to exist in for so long, Xtina states, “Existen momentos en la vida donde es major de perdonar, aceptar el pasado, perdonar a los que nos hicieron daño y hasta los que nos han lastimado para poder encontrar la paz dentro de nosotros. Perdono pero nunca olvido, seguiré adelante, lo haré por mi.” This means, “There are times in life when it is better to forgive, accept the past, forgive those who have hurt us to be able to find peace within ourselves. I forgive but I never forget, go ahead, I will do it for me.” Again, something Britney might want to take heed of in her own dealings with Aguilera.
Elsewhere, as Madonna says on Madame X‘s “Extreme Occident,” “Life is a circle.” Which Xtina confirms with, “La vida es un circulo,” adding, “Y en la oscuridad elijo y caminaré hacia la luz.” A.k.a.: “And in the dark I choose and I will walk towards the light.” Which even Lindsay managed to do after a lengthy period of party girl trashiness.
To that point, while Lindsay’s attempts at “coming to terms” with Michael’s misdeeds throughout her childhood were saccharine and hokey, Xtina, who often borders on the same vein with many of her ballads, somehow manages to carry it off more successfully (and timelessly) because of her vocal talent.
