As Mariah Carey continues to cash in on being the “Queen of Christmas” overseeing a Christmas empire to the tune of, as of now, sixty-plus million dollars in royalties, she can’t help it if, yes, the seasonal staple does make her something of Xmas royalty (try as Kacey Musgraves might to join her in the kingdom). Thus, it’s only natural that, to honor the song’s recent placement at number one on the Billboard Hot 100, Mariah has provided an update to her more lo-fi 1994 video for the track, in which a home move aesthetic (pre-dating Lana Del Rey) finds her traipsing through the snow in a snowsuit, decorating her tree, jumping into Santa’s lap and generally rubbing up against him as much as she can (which is extra weird and fetish-y because it’s Tommy Mottola). Ominous kaleidoscopic Santas and nutcracker soldiers are also interwoven for an effect that’s more creepy than festive. Still, there is a simplistic honesty to the video (even though, truly, who the fuck gets that many rabbits as presents on Xmas Day unless they’re Queen Anne in The Favourite?) that is sorely lacking in Mariah’s update, directed by Joseph Khan, who seems content to use the budget to re-create the look of what most “Instagram experiences” are designed for: to appear as “FOMO-laden” on camera as possible while actually looking pretty depressing in real life.
Commencing with a little girl gazing at the window display featuring Mariah as its centerpiece, Carey comes to life with a bit of sparkling dust as Santa eerily winks at the child as though to encourage her to get lost from her parents and “take a look inside.” What’s inside is entirely surface, of course, with Mariah and some candy-cane striped backup dancers mucking about in an all-white backdrop shaped like a lodge. Naturally, like everything in an Instagram-tailored “experience” none of this is actually real. There is no fireplace in the lodge, let alone hot chocolate brewing on the nonexistent stove. The child is, luckily, distracted by someone dressed as a wind-up bear as Mariah engages in several costume changes, primarily a signature red catsuit that doesn’t hug her fupa in all the right ways (making for a giant camel toe at times) and a sparkling toy soldier-inspired getup.
She also wants to assure her “altruistic” contributions to Christmas are in no way materialistic by donning a pair of giant angel wings. It’s around this time that her two twins, Moroccan and Monroe (a.k.a. Roc and Roe), make an appearance by jumping out of a giant box before Mariah delves into a set that looks directly pulled from the Busby Berkeley playbook. And while this famed director (who also recently inspired fellow proud New Yorker Jennifer Lopez in the “Medicine” video) is also known for offering, let’s say, slightly ersatz sets, his looked more glam and less chintzy than what Carey provides here in a red sequined floor-length gown with a slit down the middle of the chest as she stands at the center of a circle filled with what amounts to dancing candygrams, pronounced by one of Khan’s overhead shots. Synchronized choreography that pays homage to geometry, as well as plenty of steps for the dancers to spread out on, heighten the sendup of a Berkeley scene.
Tossing in a few more moments of awkward children trying to gyrate, Mariah concludes the video with the girl who had originally seen her in the window walking away with her politically correct interracial parents (though there was a time when Mariah was really into distancing herself from her blackness altogether, this scene feels like she’s trying to re-create the childhood she always wanted). And just when you think it can’t get more cliche, she winks at the girl before going back into inanimate mode (though sometimes it’s hard to tell the distinction when it comes to Mariah’s overall plasticity). So yes, all in all, this revamp of the video will make many people’s wishes come true. Those who revel in the corporate side of Christmas will understand precisely what Mariah was doing with her “art” here. But, in truth, the analog version of the video remains purer. Even though the anti-Christ himself, Tommy Mottola, makes a cameo.
