Unlike Camila Cabello’s own recent track called “Boys Don’t Cry” from Familia, one of Anitta’s many hits from Versions of Me is not about the male tendency to suppress emotion, so much as how men can be overly emotional. At least when she’s around to break their hearts (and certain appendages). And how could she not be, what with her predilection for going through the stream of dick she requires to keep her satisfied? Considering the shortage of actually attractive, toned men in the world, it’s easy to understand that her thirst is difficult to quell.
Co-directed by Christian Breslauer, who has continued to make a name for himself with videos like “Industry Baby” and “Freaky Deaky,” the aesthetic of “Boys Don’t Cry” is decidedly “Pop!” Particularly since Anitta was determined to pay homage to some of her favorite movies, including Beetlejuice and, um, Harry Potter (see: the barrage of letters scene). Even being chased by a bevy of zombie men feels like a gender-reversed nod to what Michael Jackson was doing in “Thriller.” Indeed, presenting the men in the video as zombies presents a pointed remark on how said species can come across that way in their glazed-over addiction to a certain pussy. Particularly one that presents itself only to then become unattainable. As seems to be the Anitta way. After all, she’s the one who declared to Andy Cohen, “I ‘f’ literally everyone, I don’t have any…” It seems she would’ve finished that sentence with something like “qualms” or “reservations” before Cohen double-checks to make sure he heard right: “You ‘f’ everyone?” She confirms, “If I feel like it.” Hence, making so many boys cry.
And would that all women could be as casual and uncaring about men and “what they’re thinking” as Anitta. They might then be able keep men “on their hook” for far longer than the usual expiration date. For the average man tends to grow bored quite easily when the woman he’s boning becomes “too interested” in him emotionally. “In your feelings,” as it is said. In fact, that’s what Anitta accuses her various obsessors of being as she sings tauntingly, “In your feelings, I can feel it/You’re in your feelings, you won’t admit it but/That’s why I push you away from me.” In the video, evidently, she decides not to push the dude away until she’s about to be yoked in marriage. Obviously, the reason she’s willing to go that far is for the sole purpose of wearing her Lydia Deetz-inspired wedding dress.
Once she gets enough mileage out of it, however, she seems to come to her senses and makes a mad dash for the exit, in yet another instance that feels like a loose film reference, specifically an allusion to The Graduate. Except there’s no Benjamin Braddock (Dustin Hoffman) figure trying to whisk her away from the nuptials. How could there be when Anitta declares, “It drives you crazy, try to tamе me/But nobody’s taking control all over me”?
The Graduate element is driven home (no pun intended) when she subsequently boards a bus and flees from her suitor at the conclusion, the only real “plot”-oriented moment of the video. Otherwise, it’s a lot of Anitta looking like other celebrities (think: a mélange of Doja Cat, Kim Kardashian and Eva Longoria) as she takes the opportunity to showcase varying looks.
Yet despite “frothy” sartorial appearances, “Boys Don’t Cry” is the irreverent anthem many women need to remind themselves that they shouldn’t take men so seriously. And that what Taylor said long ago on “Blank Space” continues to hold true: “Boys only want love if it’s torture.” A.k.a. if the thrill of “the chase” is sustained. Which Anitta seems only too happy to provide.
