Is there nothing Beyoncé can’t do without perfectly timing it? From the surprise release of her self-titled 2013 visual album to the surprise release of Lemonade, Beyoncé is nothing if not, to use a word Taylor Swift hates, “calculated,” when it comes to intuiting the perfect moment for effect. The birth of her twins, who already broke the internet before even being born with 6,335,571 likes in eight hours–the most any Instagram image has ever received–is no exception to the Beyoncé timing rule.
To add to the tailored supremacy of it all, Beyoncé didn’t just stop at having same-sex twins, because that would just be far too predictable, no? She took it to the next level by bringing one of each gender into her now expanded family. Though the children weren’t born on Father’s Day (the word is June 12th was when she actually “delivered” them a.k.a. had them seamlessly and painlessly plucked from her vag with a cotton swab made of Rumpelstiltskin’s softest spun gold), it is nothing short of pinnacle Beyoncé for her to allow the announcement about their birth to be made on Father’s Day weekend.
And naturally, Beyoncé couldn’t possibly have twins without them being Geminis as well. Everything must be made-to-measure when it comes to this hip hop-cum-pop star/world-dominating and worshipped apparition. Come to think of it, she just might be the only tolerable person when it comes to achieving perfection. Because you know no one feels that way when Taylor Swift does it. There’s just something more annoying about white girls being perfect.
