For Madonna, it took until Ray of Light. For Britney, it took until In the Zone. With Billie Eilish, we’re only two albums into her career, and fame is fair game as a subject for lyrical content–so one could say “NDA” is like her version of “Drowned World/Substitute for Love” or “Outrageous.” Which one supposes is a testament to just how much more “celebrity” feels like being in a fish bowl in the present thanks to social media and its entanglement with “cancel culture.” A.k.a. the new Republican platform to get people to come over to “their side.”
Once again self-directing the video, Eilish uses another simplistic video concept (à la “xanny”) by wielding the metaphor of a car spinning out of control (before it becomes multiple cars spinning out of control) to encapsulate the nature of fame. In many respects, she seems to owe The Weeknd’s Billboard Music Awards performance of “Save Your Tears” a great debt on the inspiration front. And maybe even the same stunt drivers were used for her video. An instance of self-homage is perhaps at play as well, for as she walks down the street—that’s it, that’s the whole video—we’re reminded of the similarity to the video for “all the good girls go to hell.”
Phantasmal presences behind her dressed in the same “stalker-y” garb that she is also heighten the overall sense of paranoia and disorientation. And no, this motif is not a coincidence. For, like the pop stars before her, Eilish’s reference to the stalker that plagued her in 2020 is manifest in the opening lyrics, “Did you think I’d show up in a limousine? (no)/Had to save my money for security/Got a stalker walkin’ up and down the street/Says he’s Satan and he’d like to meet.”
That allusion to Satan doesn’t just refer to the stalker and his own seemingly Charles Manson-esque madness (and, undoubtedly, he’s gotten off on the fact that Eilish has immortalized his existence in a song), but also the deal with the devil any person makes when they transcend from “aspirant” in their field to someone who becomes famous for their abilities (or, more often, for having no abilities at all). Just as Spears did at an early age, reaching a zenith when she was seventeen with “…Baby One More Time” (hence, “I’m Miss American Dream since I was seventeen”). Like Eilish, however, her fame journey began long before then on The Mickey Mouse Club.
There are also echoes of Britney Spears’ (rightful) lament on fame—particularly when Eilish mentions wanting to simply disappear to Spears’ favorite retreat, Hawaii—as she sings, “I can barely go outside, I think I hate it herе (think I hate it here)/Maybе I should think about a new career/Somewhere in Kaua’i where I can disappear.” But then, that’s the tradeoff, innit? A person has to decide what the cost of losing their wealth and influence is in comparison to going back to being an anonymous nobody.
Not to bring up Woody Allen, but there’s a segment in his little appreciated 2012 movie, To Rome With Love, during which a character in one of the four vignettes, Leopoldo Pisanello (Roberto Benigni), becomes famous out of nowhere the day the paparazzi decide to start following him everywhere for no particular reason. Accustomed to his “average joe” life, the novelty and trappings of fame become a source of pleasure at first, but it doesn’t take him long to realize that even this version of existence is tedious and wearisome. “My life has become a living hell,” he screams at his driver, complaining that everyone wants his opinion all the time and expects him to have the answers when he’s just a normal human being who doesn’t know any better than anyone else. His driver replies, “From where I sit, sir, it’s hard to sympathize. To be a celebrity, the excitement, the special privileges, adoring crowds wanting your autograph, never having to wait in line…” These are “little things” to celebrities once they become accustomed to their fame. But to those on the outside looking in, they would kill for such a lifestyle. Which, once more, proves that the grass is always greener. Except that it definitely isn’t when you don’t have a celebrity’s well-manicured lawn.
“I want my anonymity back, no one interrupting me,” Leopoldo replies to his driver nonetheless. At the same time, when the swarming photographers randomly decide to stop following him everywhere one day and cease taking his picture, Leopoldo is left reeling from the effects of going back to the other extreme (life is nothing but extremes, after all). Thus, when his wish is granted and the press starts obsessing over a new “it” boy, Leopoldo is only briefly relieved before having something like a nervous breakdown upon realizing absolutely no one cares who he is. When he sees his chauffeur on the street again, he informs Leopoldo, “I told you, sir. Life can be very cruel and unsatisfying, whether you’re a celebrity or poor or unknown. But of the two, to be a celebrity is definitely better.” Someone might want to tell Eilish this.
While some posit she’s speaking of an ex (likely Q) when she says, “Did I take it too far?/Now I know what you are,” it’s just as probabale that this is a reference to finding out “who” fame really is. And the extent of his wrathful ways. Thus, she adds, “When I sold you my heart (my heart)/How’d it get so dark? (so dark).” For, in order to become one of the most well-known personalities, she didn’t just sell her soul, but also her heart to a public that increasingly started to siphon more out of it. Until, perhaps, there’s nothing left but a husk with, as Ariana would say, “no tears left to cry.”
Eilish’s “90s nod”—whether conscious or not—in the song stems from the industrial rock incorporation that sounds like Nine Inch Nails’ “Closer” (especially at the end of the track). She also borrows from the Hole lyric, “He hit so hard/I saw stars” (and we all know how Courtney Love would feel about something like that) with, “You hit me so hard (so hard)/I saw stars (I saw stars).” The “stars” in this case also doubling for the celebrities that orbit her own separate planet from the rest of us plebes. And as Eilish falls to the ground in something like exasperation while the cars continue to swirl around her in a flurry, she eventually finds her footing long enough to get up again, resignedly continuing to walk amid the unstable traffic flow that surrounds her.
That, in the end, is what a famous person must do. It is the high price they pay for their own equally as high salary. But, at the very least, Eilish so far still has ownership of all her wealth. Unlike one, Britney Jean Spears.
