It was, of course, a more under-the-radar headline from the Oscars, but, nonetheless, an important one. Diane Warren did not win for “Somehow You Do,” her thirteenth Academy Award nomination for Best Original Song. And you could tell by the look on her face when Billie Eilish and Finneas were announced as the winners that she really thought she might have had a chance. It was a similar look to the one Lana Del Rey had on when Eilish also ousted her for Album of the Year at the 2020 Grammy Awards (which just eked by to air before corona really popped off in the U.S.). Apparently, no one, least of all the Recording Academy, knew just how much “the moment” Norman Fucking Rockwell was until Del Rey jumped the shark afterward. So instead, they honored Eilish’s debut, When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go?
Ever since, Eilish has been sweeping awards ceremonies right and left—so why should the 2022 Oscars be any different (especially when considering the fraught history of No Time to Die’s theater release and all the associated buildup to her eventual win for the song)? Well, what Warren at least thought would be different was that this was her thirteenth nomination, and she was fucking owed. Even if it would have been one of those instances of her winning for the wrong “project.” Because, let’s face it, “Somehow You Do” ain’t shit compared to, say, “Because You Loved Me.” And Reba McEntire isn’t exactly Celine.
For a while, Warren at least had someone like Meryl Streep to keep her company in getting nominated so many times, but never awarded. It meant that it was all a political game, rigged (as Susan Lucci found out, too). And, like everything else, had little to do with talent or the blood, sweat and tears put into something. Streep has received a total of twenty-one nominations, with just three wins—breaking her losing streak (after the practically back-to-back wins at the outset of her career) for a movie she really oughtn’t have: The Iron Lady. This was after twenty-nine years had gone by since the release of Sophie’s Choice, and thirty-two years since the release of the film she won her first Oscar for: Kramer vs. Kramer.
Warren was nominated for her first Oscar for something slightly less “meaningful” and far more splashy: Starship’s “Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now.” Practically unavoidable in the late 80s, the song somehow managed to far outshine the film it came from, Mannequin (which has been somewhat more appreciated with time—even if only “ironically”). But, of course, a song like that wasn’t going to win over The Academy. That was what 1996’s “Because You Loved Me” was supposed to be for. Inspired by her own father, the only person who didn’t tell her to give up on her dream of music, the composition took on a romantic context for the Up Close and Personal Soundtrack. Let’s not talk about the Electra complex.
And what with Warren never bothering much with her own romantic relationships—instead choosing to write about the kind of love that literally only exists in song—listeners have to give her credit for being so imaginative. So adept at making us feel a certain way when we listen to her impassioned words, regardless of which singer ends up delivering the lyrics. From Cher’s “If I Could Turn Back Time” to Brandy’s “Have You Ever?,” each single seems to be Warren’s own way of communicating heartbreak and yearning. It appeared as though she endured one major romantic loss in her lifetime (Guy Roche), and has perhaps been struggling to understand how it could all go so wrong ever since. Or so we would like to believe—otherwise, how could she see into our very soul with the songs she writes? And yes, she is ironically more cynical about love than her songs would ever let on—in turn, there are many cynics who write her music off as nothing more than pure schmaltz.
Whatever the critics might say, Warren does deserve to complete her trophy case with an Oscar. But no, The Academy went for a younger model in Billie and Finneas. And that’s in large part because “Somehow You Do” is still drenched in a 90s sensibility that doesn’t provide the same timeless air of “No Time to Die.” But Warren shouldn’t feel so bad being that even Beyoncé couldn’t manage to topple Eilish’s awards-garnering superpowers. However, it didn’t help the sting for articles like “Diane Warren Loses for the Thirteenth Time” to appear at the bottom of the headline barrel… with “The Slap” obviously being at the top. And, speaking of, headlines for Warren didn’t get better in the days to follow, with one also rudely declaring “13-Time Oscar Loser Diane Warren Tweets Cringeworthy Will Smith/Chris Rock Slap Joke.” The tweet in question was an image of her at the Oscars holding up a sign (that once listed the song she was nominated for) replaced with text that read, “Ok so who do I gotta slap to get an Oscar?” The emojis with their tongue sticking out did little to mitigate the mild offense Warren caused in her bid to bring some “jocularity” (but really shade) to the moment.
Jocularity that serves as part of her bid to laugh to keep from crying. For, while in the audience at the ceremony, when Warren watched McEntire’s performance of “Somehow You Do,” one could see in her eyes that she felt as though she was singing it herself, from the depths of her soul. And, being that Warren is known for specifically auditioning the singers who will breathe life into her words, she stated in a pre-show interview that McEntire felt like the best fit. Unfortunately, Warren’s own lyrics came back to bite her in the ass after losing: “When you think that the mountain’s too high/And the ocean’s too wide, you’ll never get through/Some way, somehow, somehow you do.”
Being that the single is geared toward a film about addiction (Four Good Days starring Mila Kunis and Glenn Close… who has, incidentally, been nominated eight times and never won), it only makes sense for Warren to also have lyrics like, “So you feel like you’re right on the brink/Oh, you’re in the battlе alone/And life’s punched a holе in your soul/Yeah, you’ve been brought to your knees/But there’s better days up ahead.” As though talking to her future Oscar-losing self, Warren adds, “You’ll be back on your feet again/And you’re gonna be okay/Oh, the darkest night will find the day.” And it was, indeed, a very dark night for Warren (in addition to everybody else forced to bear witness to the slap). Because you could see the look of genuine anticipation on her face, assuming she had a chance at winning due to, at the bare minimum, all the times she had lost.
This was finally supposed to be her moment. And that look of disappointment—of the same aforementioned variety Del Rey had on her own face when she lost to Eilish—does not infer arrogance so much as a woman who knows her talent is overdue for being acknowledged in this way that still means so much to so many. No matter how frequently the masses decry the Oscars as having lost their luster.
