With the upcoming release of Wonder Woman 1984 at last firmly secured (or is it?) for Christmas Day, Gal Godot is back in the role of the titular character… now set against the backdrop of the Decade of Excess. An era that is automatically associated with its representative spokesperson—at least where music is concerned—the Boy Toy herself: Madonna. While M might not have made the cut for the soundtrack (instead losing out to competition of the day, including Whitney Houston, Cyndi Lauper and Michael Jackson), her absence does give one pause to wonder which 80s pop stars would be well-suited to portraying some of the DC Universe’s comic book heroines (and villainesses).
Being that the female pop star in her modern form was essentially invented by Madonna herself, it’s only fair to cast the Queen of Pop in the part of one of the most visible women of the pantheon, Catwoman. Since Madonna is often viewed by detractors as a bit of another C-word that does not end in “A-T,” she is well-suited to the playful and coquettish persona of Selina Kyle’s alter ego. What’s more, her own “origin story” found her acting with a decidedly “mousier” personality before she lost all trace of innocence upon going to the Big Apple and being left few options for money-making other than posing au naturel. In fact, a scene of Madonna in “Express Yourself” in a similar state of undress while lapping up milk out of a bowl on the floor is all the proof anyone needs to see her Catwoman cachet.
Before M explored androgyny with more gusto in the 90s, Annie Lennox within Eurythmics was going full-tilt “drag king” in videos for “Love Is A Stranger” and “Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This).” This is precisely why she would be perfectly cast as Zatanna Zatara, constantly seen in her masculine yet feminine magician’s getup. Plus, what is Lennox if not a vision of pure gender-defying magic?
In 1980, before Madonna’s pop star template was established, Kate Bush embodied the pre-1984 version of what that meant. For her third record, Never For Ever, she was photographed as a very convincing bat on the back cover of the album. Thus, it’s no surprise that’s she’s the worthiest candidate to play Batwoman, complete with her often shrill pitch.
After spending so much time as backup (both as dancer and choreographer), Paula Abdul decided to steal the spotlight for herself by recording 1988’s Forever Your Girl, featuring the hit, “Straight Up.” Considering she emerged from the shadow of Janet Jackson’s legend, she was something of the “Baby Janet” (or at least that was the easiest thing to say from a marketing department standpoint). Thus, Abdul is ideal for playing Donna Troy, a.k.a. Wonder Girl a.k.a. Teenage Wonder Woman (except the part where Abdul was twenty-six when ’88 rolled around).
Speaking of Ms. Jackson (if you’re nasty), the 80s weren’t complete without her chart presence. It was in 1986, with her third record, Control, that “Michael’s little sister” started to shed her previously “doe-eyed” vibe in favor of an “I’m gonna do it my way” philosophy that spawned such sexually-charged hits as “Nasty” and “The Pleasure Principle.” In this regard, there can be no other superhero for her than Vixen. With her ability to harness the spirit of any animal (whether extinct or not), Janet’s own brand of raw carnality would have made her the go-to choice for being cast in this part.
From the far reaches of Zambesi, where Vixen grew up, let us now go to Egypt (or rather, let us “Walk Like An Egyptian”). With her bad ass, post-punk Earth Mother vibes bursting to the surface in every video, The Bangles frontwoman Susanna Hoffs could effortlessly play a part in the Wonder Woman realm as Hippolyta, queen of the Amazons of Themyscira. And Wonder Woman’s mother.
Shifting to the more sugary side of pop, Debbie Gibson as Dream Girl makes as much sense as trickle-down economics did to Reagan. After all, she had the foresight (à la Dream Girl’s precognitive abilities) to release her debut record one month before her rival at the time, fellow teen dream, Tiffany.
That’s right, Tiffany. All mellifluous and sweet with cascading red hair, Tiffany is envisionable as Poison Ivy. Not just for the red hair resemblance, but for the irony of Ivy’s venomous nature pitted against the saccharine sentiments of, “We’re running just as fast as we can/Holding on to one another’s hand.” Come on, we all know Tiffany was just waiting to unleash her inner bad girl that entire time.
No matter one’s pop star or DC superheroine (/villainess) of choice, after this foray into the soundtrack of the 80s, any viewer can be ready to dive into the world of Wonder Woman 1984.
