As though the song itself weren’t disappointing enough, Kim Petras and Nicki Minaj teamed up again to bring listeners a visual for “Alone”—their poor adaptation of Alice Deejay’s signature track, “Better Off Alone.” The video, unsurprisingly, doesn’t do too much to enhance the single, apart from serving as an apparent opportunity for Petras’ love of cosplay. A love that quickly comes to light when a lone man sitting in front of a TV turns it on to reveal a channel with Petras dressed in drum major attire, along with the rest of her backup dancers. Of course, with Petras being likely aware of both Gwen Stefani and Madonna’s previous use of drum major uniforms in their own work (Gwen with the video for “Hollaback Girl” and Madonna with a segment during her MDNA Tour), perhaps those giving her the benefit of the doubt would call this “homage” rather than totally hackneyed visuals.
Maybe if some of her other costumes were slightly more original, one could excuse the drum major attempt. And since costumes are really the only thing to focus on during this no-frills video that has little in the way of any plot relating to the song, the chance to critique them grows tenfold. Set against a purple backdrop with a half-circle shape resembling a rising (or setting, depending on your outlook) sun in bright pink, the 80s aesthetic might be comforting for a brief period were it not for Petras quickly spotlighting her promotion deal with Bose as the camera zooms in on one of her earbuds prominently displaying the brand’s name. Wonder if she’s trying to tell us something?
Of course, there’s not much room for anything resembling “subtlety” in a song that touts, “I could ride it, ride it, ride it, ride it all night.” In the video, this is said while Petras and co. hump some “workout balls.” Indeed, much of the video can be seen as part wannabe exercise instructional, part wannabe advertisement for Spirit Halloween store. As for catering to the former category, Petras and her fellow dancers lie on yoga mats and engage in the standard hip thrust maneuver (again, “subtle” is not the keyword here). And so, at this juncture in the video, there’s little to note in the way of Petras being concerned about getting the object of her affection “alone.”
But maybe, like Miley (via her sologamist anthem, “Flowers“), Petras is actually more concerned with self-improvement (in Hollywood, that always pertains to the body, not the soul)—which, in turn, allegedly leads to someone else loving you as much as you love yourself. The thing that no one talks about, however, is that other people are just as busy loving themselves these days, and have little time to spread that love to another being. So Petras might be waiting longer than anticipated to get the person in question “by her side.” In the interim, she can keep licking her clarinet with “demure” suggestiveness as the object of her seduction watches with voyeuristic interest. To that point, the only potentially interesting element about this video that could have been highlighted further is the peppered-in scenes of voyeurism. Then again, perhaps Petras knew better than to bother after seeing Madonna’s “Open Your Heart” video, the pièce de résistance (along with “Justify My Love,” for that matter) when it comes to accenting the perverse thrill men get from watching a woman (androgynous or not) from afar rather than actively pursuing her. And if there is eventually a pursuit involved, he’ll also tend to prefer her strutting over to him.
And yet, for as “erotic” as it should be to watch Petras bounce around on a ball and spout her cliché phrases pandering to the hetero male fantasy, the looming man in the video tries to change the channel before direction from Arrad (who recently brought us Anitta and Missy Elliott’s “Lobby” video) leads us down into the center button of the “clicker.” Alas, rather than showing us something new, the camera briefly focuses in on two people doing yoga poses as the frame moves circularly before transitioning back to Petras in her drum major ensemble. The set then changes to something out of the TLC FanMail era as Petras subsequently appears in an all-black vinyl outfit that hardly compares to the ones Michael and Janet wore in the video for “Scream.” All of which brings us back to the main problem with this song in general: it relies solely on nostalgia for the past without actually doing anything to improve upon it in the present. At least another recent case in point of that—David Guetta, Anne-Marie and Coi Leray’s “Baby Don’t Hurt Me”—builds on what the original did as opposed to merely sampling the backing track the way Petras does.
Although Petras assumed Minaj’s appearance on the single would offset any “weak points,” all her presence really does is take the song even further away from the integrity and sense of pure emotion that existed on the original. Dressed in her own dominatrix-y getup upon materializing at the one-minute, forty-eight-second mark, it doesn’t take Minaj long to acquiesce to the white ideal of the Barbie mold by matching Petras with a blonde high ponytail and a form-fitting black vinyl dress with pink heels as she babbles, among other verses, “I send shots, get ready, they may sting/I-I-It’s Barbie and it’s Kim Petras/Main character syndrome, they extras/We-we-we ain’t answerin’ questions/Click on a bitch ‘fore she finish her sentence.” Not exactly words that connote yearning or longing after a breakup. As was the case on “Better Off Alone.”
As more of the same scenes are interspersed toward the end, Petras saves her most cliché costume for last: a “sexy” nurse. Finally “breaking the fourth wall” by somehow transporting herself through the TV screen to approach the man who has been watching all along, she leans in toward his ear and repeats the part of the chorus that goes, “I’ve been tryna give it to you all night/What’s it gonna take to get you all alone?” Well, for Dr. Luke, who co-produced this abomination, what it took to get Kesha all alone was a “sober pill” to make her “feel better” one night. As it turned out, that pill was GHB, a date rape drug. Hopefully, Petras won’t have to resort to the same (with the syringe she’s probably packing) should the male lead in her video have second thoughts about playing “patient.”
