Sacramentans have that unique, angst-ridden edge about them that thrived quite nicely in the type of mainstream pop culture that supported the tonal vibes of Audioslave in the early 00s (hence, the ability of Papa Roach and The Deftones to achieve brief success during this blip of time). Incidentally, this is part of what makes Greta Gerwig’s directorial debut, Lady Bird, so peak Sacramento in terms of an average denizen’s vanilla ire for nothing in particular–for it’s set in 2002, prime sullen time. Who knows if it’s because, like Lady Bird (Saoirse Ronan), most high school kids from the area are just waiting for the day when they can get the fuck out?
In any case, now that Australia is finally going to be privy to what everyone’s been going on about in the U.S. with regard to this movie (unless, of course, they’ve already bootlegged it like most non-U.S. residents who can’t wait five years to see a current film), it comes at the price of censorship. Thankfully, there’s an organization for that: the Australian Classification Board, like the MPAA ’round these parts. Based on the use of the word cunt (it happens all of two times) and some scenes of male nudity in a fucking magazine, the movie would have gotten a MA15+ rating if it hadn’t been amended to be more “friendly” toward a younger audience via an M rating.
So now, instead of hearing “cunt,” which Australians bandy about more freely than perhaps even the Brits, “children” will have their ears spared with the gentle use of “cooze.” It’s like the type of Sacramentan who would say “hecka” instead of “hella” (as if the latter possesses that much more edge). And rather than seeing a key scene in which Lady Bird goes through the greatest rite of passage any Sacramentan can–turning eighteen, therefore being given legal clearance to flee–by achieving the height of sin with the purchase of cigarettes and a Playgirl, Australians will see nothing at all. The scene has been cut entirely. But how are they supposed to know she’s very literally come of age without it?
While it might not be the ACB’s fault that Universal was the one to make moves for “getting a lower rating” for the sake of getting more bodies in seats, it continues to dredge up the irony of these ratings–as though adults genuinely believe that “kids” have no awareness of such profanity (both verbal and visual) and have probably endured even much worse than what they’re seeing on a screen. This idea that to censor is to protect (it rather harkens back to the “Arkangel” episode of Black Mirror) has clearly never worked in the past (which rather leads one to believe that gun control could be just as moot). So why do the “censors” still bother? It’s not as though its existence is doing anything to make society more high brow by setting an example for not using “foul language,” with most people being just as “everyman” as those that Lady Bird has such contempt for in spite of her own intelligence being somewhat middling (which is why she makes a perfect fit for twenty-first century New York–world capital of the pseudo-intellectual).
So while it might be a cunt move to release Lady Bird in this state to the cinema-loving Australian, at least they’re getting an even more accurate depiction of how melba Sacramento is.
