Over the years, pop culture has seen fit to provide plenty of illustrious wardrobe malfunctions—particularly in the schadenfreude-loving epoch of social media. On his now infamous Saturday Night Live performance of “Montero (Call Me By Your Name),” Lil Nas X has accordingly joined the ranks of pop and hip hop heavyweights in losing all control of his threads.
But rather than shame, which was detectable on Lil Nas X’s face when the seam of his crotch split down the middle, the newly-minted icon ought to feel nothing but pride for joining some of his idols in the Hall of Fame for Wardrobe Malfunctions. Naturally, it all starts with Janet Jackson at the at the 2004 Super Bowl Halftime Show. Alas, she didn’t even get the benefit of having her own agency in what was subsequently deemed “Nipplegate.” Instead, Justin Timberlake—douche-a-rama that he is—took control of the narrative when, as though perfectly timed to sing the lyrics, “I’ma have you naked by the end of this song,” pulled off a strategic part of Jackson’s costume to reveal her outer right tit. But at least she had a pasty on. God love stripper accoutrements that understand the value of theatrical performances. But this was not theatrical in quite the way Jackson had hoped.
Nonetheless, it would go on to become an immortal moment in pop culture history, replayed ad nauseam—and now, held up as a beacon of women’s degrading treatment in the media throughout the 00s. As though it was some kind of “best kept secret” until now.
After Janet, Lil Nas X’s heroine, Nicki Minaj (recently shouted out to in the video for “Sun Goes Down”), would also suffer an even more overt titty-baring moment while onstage in Philadelphia for the Made in America Fest back in 2018. But by this point, she seemed desensitized to the phenomenon in the wake of what happened to her at the 2014 VMAs. It was then, as well, that Nicki’s bodacious bod would be deemed uncontrollable by her garment when the front of her dress had to be held together by her hand (instead of the zipper that was supposed to do the job) as she carried on with the song—“Bang Bang” featuring Jessie J and Ariana Grande, wherein, incidentally, the lyrics, “She got a body like an hourglass” are bandied.
Nicki’s nemesis, Cardi B, would also suffer the fools of an easily ripped costume at her 2019 Bonnaroo performance, when the seam of her sequined onesie decided to rip just above her derrière. In other words, there was a split right down her crack. For retrospective irony, when Cardi left the stage to go change into a bathrobe, the crowd entertained themselves by singing Lil Nas X’s then inescapable “Old Town Road.”
While some have said that Janet was the true “inventor” of the wardrobe malfunction, the reality is, like just about everything, Madonna invented it back at the 1984 VMAs during her epic rendition of “Like A Virgin.” While many, for so long, assumed that the writhing and flashing was all intentional, the truth was, Madonna was just trying to get a hold of her high heel again after it got away from her. A less “sexy” malfunction came to visit Madonna at the 2015 BRIT Awards, when the cape that her dancers down below were meant to seamlessly (no pun intended) pull off ended up taking M down along with it, in a moment that looked like it could have resulted in some severe whiplash. M, ever the consummate show(wo)man, carried on (“I’m gonna carry on,” as the lyrics of the song she was singing declared—along with, “Took me to heaven, let me fall down”). Though she didn’t get out unscathed by the wrath of internet memes mocking her for her age. So, at the very least, Lil Nas X’s malfunction involved neither falling nor doing so at an “over the hill” moment in his career. Except that, oh wait, men in the music industry are never called out for their age.
And here it bears noting that Lil Nas X is the first male (though, of course, not straight or white—for they can know no shame, evidently… or maybe they just don’t understand the value of bells and whistles on a costume) performer to endure such an overtly “embarrassing” malfunction (but by now, because malfunctions have happened so many times, such an instance should merely be looked upon as a “hazard of the trade”). So perhaps, yes, things might actually be starting to “equalize” in the entertainment industry after all. Minus the part where Lil Nas X gets even half as much scrutiny and mockery for his “little accident.” One supposes a man’s pénis just isn’t as noteworthy (read: “offensive”) as a woman’s tits or ass.
