“I respect him a lot, we were a little item,” Lourdes Leon notes casually and coolly—in a glib, Madonna sort of way—of Timothée Chalamet. “My first boyfriend…or anything,” she added in her inaugural Vanity Fair article. Hmm, sounds like basically she’s saying she was no longer like a virgin after him. And, speaking of allusions to Lola’s ultra-famous mother, it seems more than slightly poetic that she should grace the pages of a “high-fashion” (once upon a time) magazine at the age of twenty-four…the very age Madonna was when she got her initial taste of real fame by releasing “Everybody” as her debut single in 1982.
Thirty-nine years later and it’s Gen Z’s world, which Lola feels very much a spokesperson for (just check out her adidas commercial for Stella McCartney), with the assertion in this article (called, oh so originally, “Lourdes Leon Is Ready to Express Herself”), “After the last presidency, I don’t think I have one friend that’s not depressed or anxious.” This leads the interviewer to narrate, “She sees a shift in the next generation,” building on that with Lola’s added quote, “We feel together now, and there is a sense of solidarity and responsibility for any person that doesn’t feel safe to walk down the street.” In other words, Madonna’s generation better back the fuck up. Problem is, if Madonna is any indication, they won’t stand down until you pry preeminence from their cold, dead hands. Hence, the conspiracy theories that the “boomer remover” called corona was unleashed solely to wipe out certain populations and demographics.
Despite Madonna’s generational membership, Lourdes herself is so patently molded in the image of her mother–her enthusiasm for religiosity being one such example as she remarks, “Prayer is something that is really helpful to me. I love religion and religious people.” What she hasn’t yet grown accustomed to is the innocuous questions that come with fame, like being asked who your “dream dinner” would include. Lola, instead, opts to craft a nightmarish one by inviting Princes Philip and Charles to it.
But ah yes, back to that other name drop: Timothée Chalamet. At the present moment, such a pairing seems incongruous, what with Chalamet’s overt predilection for wispy twigs in the form of Lily-Rose Depp. And everyone seems to have forgotten that the Leon-Chalamet “pairing” was mentioned in several rags back in 2013 when a date chaperoned by Lola’s father, Carlos, was amply photographed by paparazzi.
At the time, however, Chalamet wasn’t a big name, with nothing more than some Homeland episodes under his belt, in which he actually had a noticeable role (unlike some previous one-offs in Law & Order and What Would You Do?). Somewhat pointedly, the cover of the magazine issue Lola is in also features the story title, “The Fall of Armie Hammer.” The very actor who helped Chalamet’s star rise so high via their chemistry in 2017’s Call Me By Your Name (granted, it was no Heath Ledger/Jake Gyllenhaal-level chemistry). Everything really is (less than) six degrees of separation with famous people. Especially when considering that many famous people’s children attend LaGuardia High School in NYC.
Here, too, Lola’s “in syncness” with her mother comes into play as some remember that one of the first “proper” acting roles M auditioned for was on Fame—the show that takes place at “New York City High School for the Performing Arts” a.k.a. Fiorello H. LaGuardia High School of Music & Art and Performing Arts. “I’m from Detroit and I’m twenty-one,” she lied before delivering her lines to the camera, trying even then to come across as slightly younger. But it was easier to pull the wool over casting directors’ eyes back then, and twenty-four was such a small difference from twenty-one, no? Regardless of age, Madonna didn’t land the part. She was destined for far greater things anyway. Like, apparently, giving birth to a girlfriend for Chalamet.
One can only imagine how that relationship might have played out among the catty hallways of LaG. There’s no doubt Chalamet was sought-after eye candy even in his “meeker” days (which must have been real meek if we’re going by his present state of persistent softness). And he was likely quite the snack as a result of being among the paltry twenty-four percent of male students at the school (oui, LaGuardia boasts a seventy-six percent female “population”). Indeed, it’s difficult to imagine him really even having the gumption to approach Madonna’s daughter. And here we must admit Lola likely took some of her matriarch’s initiative in choosing to pursue the boy her damn self instead of waiting around. A girl has to secure her dick when and where possible, particularly in a cutthroat atmosphere such as NY in general and LaGuardia specifically. And maybe Chalamet fit the bill in not being among the “grown-ass men who ask [her] if [she’s] on ‘The ’Gram.’” Up until earlier this year, of course, she wouldn’t have been able to say yes to such an egregious question, having managed to keep herself under wraps all this time until finally surrendering…because you can’t really have a full-on career of any kind (modeling or otherwise) without Instagram.
Nonetheless, what she would tell any boy who deigned to request her “handle” is this: “You need to gather yourself and think about the way in which you want to get to know people because that’s just not how you do it.” Chalamet, on the other hand, seemed to know just how to do it. Ansel Elgort, not so much. For nobody likes “a terrible DJ.”
