Madonna is all for celebrating Father’s Day this year–in her self-proclaimed role as #momdad. Before posting a picture of her own father, Silvio “Tony” Ciccone (the repressive man who was indispensable in making Madonna the oozing with sexual rebellion woman you see before you today), Madonna was first sure to put up an image of herself asking, “Do I look like a Dad here? 🏋️♀️. Wishing myself a Happy Father’s Day.” While Madonna has been no stranger to the single life (because to date boy toys is more or less to be single), she’s been far more vocal about shading two of her major exes, both, essentially, just sperm donors in the end: Carlos Leon and Guy Ritchie. That Madonna has all of the financial clout (and any of Ritchie’s is primarily from his generous settlement in the divorce) within the space of these dynamics is one of the major reasons she’s confident in declaring herself both mother and father (incidentally the title of one of her best songs from American Life).
For women, in particular, a large part of reinventing the wheel of parenthood in the present has to do with having nothing to gain financially from a patriarchal figure. Money is power, after all, and she who has the most, has the most control–over herself and her children. As Madonna says in “Mother and Father,” “I made a vow that I would never need another person.” And she doesn’t–except for the glorified sperm bank portion, which she eventually dispensed with in favor of straight up adoption.
While Madonna has been slightly more generous toward Leon in rarely speaking of him at all, she’s been very vocal about her opinions of Ritchie, who she notoriously referred to as a “cunt” during her Nashville performance for the Rebel Heart Tour in early 2016–right during the throes of her custody battle over Rocco, who clearly inherited his father’s predilection for antiquated machismo in his blatant contempt for one of the most outspoken feminists of all-time. More specifically, Madonna joked to an audience member, “I’m looking for a husband, not a cunt. I already married a cunt.”
And with no use for “cunts” with penises–at least not for the purposes of co-parenting (for how could anyone “co-” do anything with someone as dominant as Madonna?)–Madonna underscores a unique revelation on this Father’s Day 2018: are these assignations of gender-related parent days on a fixed point of the calendar each year really necessary anymore? Especially when the U.S. and South Korea (sorry Trump, it ain’t North) are already offering up a Parents’ Day (which occurs the fourth week of every July in the former country). With everyone so uppity about gender and making it as “fluid” as possible, how is it that the concepts of “Mother’s Day” and “Father’s Day” haven’t come more under fire? Particularly with so many single parents tackling on all responsibilities formerly assumed to be divided by two genders based on their “capabilities” as deemed by societal convention. Why can’t there just be one all-encompassing day to celebrate this more relevant incarnation of parenting (e.g. Parents’ Day)? Instead, Mother’s Day and Father’s Day both feel like outmoded “stamps” on what it means to be a family.
That Father’s Day originated in the Middle Ages in Europe is also telling of just how stale it is as a holiday. And in keeping with the sexist norm of this life, Mother’s Day wasn’t even established until 1908, and only because a grieving daughter by the name of Anna Jarvis wanted to honor her mother three years after she had passed away. This seems particularly bizarre when considering that the “part” of parent has always been traditionally associated with the “nurturing” requirements of a mother, whereas a father fills the more clinical role of “financial provider.”
As the concept of “family” evolves with the inevitable advent of the third, fourth, fifth and millionth gender, perhaps we’ll all look back on Madonna’s Father’s Day commentary and nod with reverence as we remark, “She helped shatter yet another glass ceiling.” Of course, she didn’t do it purely out of nowhere–she also wanted to add, “I just wanna say Happy Father’s Day to you Pops. Thank you for giving me this good DNA, giving me this excellent skin. And then I wanna say thank you to MDNA Skin care line for helping me continue in that tradition of having excellent skin.” Proving that, yes, she has that entrepreneurial “male” spirit that all mothers being fathers must possess in these hustle-centic, gig economy times.
