One of the most noticeable themes Madonna has touted in recent years during interviews or speeches is a certain sense of “survivor’s guilt.” Not just because she lived through the eighties and saw a vast portion of her gay friends die of AIDS (e.g., Martin Burgoyne and Keith Haring), but because, out of everyone who “came up” during the era when she did (namely, Michael Jackson, Prince and Whitney Houston), she’s basically the only one left alive (because honestly, Cyndi who?).
This, in part, stems from Madonna’s long-standing commitment to never relying on drugs for anything, whether for “recreational pleasure” or for “pain relief” (with both Prince and MJ falling prey to the addiction of such a “prescription” drug class). Her obsession with remaining in constant control is part of the reason why her drug experiences (apart from the occasional drinkee, blunt or XTC pill) have been so few and far between compared to other “rock stars.” Indeed, where the rock star lifestyle has often been a large part of the reason why many musicians got into the game, for Madonna, the trappings of said lifestyle were always secondary to getting her message across. Whatever the message of the moment might be for her. But usually, it’s something pertaining to freedom of speech, sexual liberation, feminism and challenging religious taboos.
That said, Madonna took up the cause of ageism long before it became such a point of contention in her career, as though she knew she would have to go up against it sooner or later thanks to her persistent intentions to “last” within the music industry. So it was that she famously told Jonathan Ross in a 1992 interview promoting Erotica, “I think that not only do we suffer racism and sexism, but we also suffer from ageism. And that is that once you reach a certain age, you’re not allowed to be adventurous, you’re not allowed to be sexual, and, you know, I think that’s rather hideous. And a lot of people say, ‘Oh that’s so pathetic’ or ‘I hope she’s not still doing that in ten years.’ I mean, who cares? What if I am? I mean, what, is there a rule? What are you supposed to just die when you’re forty? And that’s basically what everyone wants people to do and I think it’s stupid. You’re just supposed to kind of put yourself out to pasture. Why? Life is long.”
And yet, as Madonna is well-aware, it has not been long for everyone. Least of all those she initially first came into contact with in her pre-fame early eighties days. Maybe that’s part of the reason she was, once again, briefly overcome with a sense of survivor’s guilt during an interview with Jimmy Fallon on August 10th to (loosely) discuss her upcoming compilation album, Finally Enough Love. Spanning through four decades, the record features fifty number one dance tracks. And it all started with “Everybody,” the single that set the precedent for Madonna’s symbiotic relationship with dance music and, accordingly, night clubs… especially since she was such a devoted frequenter of Danceteria, among other now-defunct NYC watering holes.
So it was that she felt obliged to sort of mention Danceteria’s resident DJ, Mark Kamins, to Fallon by recalling, “I found this one DJ who thought I was cute and, um, he’s dead now. And um…” She then proceeded to laugh in that way that people do when they’re not quite sure how to express genuine emotion. After collecting herself, she added, “Pretty much everybody from that time is dead now, but that’s another story.” One perhaps to be touched upon in her forthcoming self-directed biopic. And yet, a phase of her life M is likely to avoid in her script are these “later years.” The ones in which she finds herself in her sixties. For Madonna knows, perhaps better than anyone, that it’s just as Elise (Goldie Hawn) in The First Wives Club said: “Youth and beauty, man, I mean, that’s the ticket.” And, despite all her posturing about being anti-ageism, Madonna ostensibly adheres to that tenet as well, for she would never fully “surrender” to aging “visually.” She knows “better” as a woman in the public eye that it isn’t really “allowed.”
Yet for men in the business, like Paul McCartney, for example, there appears to be no limit to or expiration date on what they are “permitted” to do. Even having a song, “When I’m Sixty-Four,” that, au moment, famously calls out his late age has done little to “date” McCartney. Indeed, he turned sixty-four back in 2006, when Madonna was still forty-seven at the time of his June 18th birthday. Incidentally, “Macca” wrote the music for “When I’m Sixty-Four” when he was around fourteen, which might account for some of its saccharineness (though it’s still not really an excuse). The year was 1956, so Madonna hadn’t even been born yet, but, in the blink of an eye, here she is, following in Paul’s aging footsteps. And yet, McCartney can still get airplay on BBC1, while Madonna can’t. The double standard remaining more glaring than ever as opposed to more “dismantled,” something one would like to believe is a symptom of time passing—less inequality. Instead, there are nothing but increased discrepancies between genders when it comes to age.
Madonna turning sixty-four is also something that’s unfathomable to the fans who grew up with her when she was just a little “zaftig” (her word) boy toy. For Madonna always gave off the impression that she would be the one exception to the rule of “aging.” To this end, there’s a moment in Mermaids when Bob Hoskins as Lou asks Cher as Rachel, “Time catches up. What can you do?” She replies definitively, “Keep moving.” There seems to be something to this determination to staunchly avoid aging (beyond just easy access to plastic surgery). Yet even Madonna has capitulated in certain regards to the “tells” of her boomerism. Complete with a style of narcissism that no millennial or “zoomer” can emulate.
As for the insecurity-drenched sentiments behind the lyrics of “When I’m Sixty-Four,” including, “Will you still need me, will you still feed me/When I’m sixty-four?” and “When I get older losing my hair/Many years from now/Will you still be sending me a valentine/Birthday greetings, bottle of wine?,” they seem to play into Madonna’s own experiences with l’amour. For it’s not as though marriages to the similar-in-many-ways Sean Penn and Guy Ritchie endured, nor any of the boy toy dalliances that have ensued post-2008 (ranging from Jesus Luz to Brahim Zaibat to Timor Steffens to Ahlamalik Williams—which, one supposes, is why The Beatles’ lyric, “You’ll be older too” does not fit in with Madonna’s current modus operandi in “partnership”). And, from the looks of it, Madonna is célibataire for the first time in a while at yet another one of her illustrious destination b-day fêtes (favoring her bloodline country of Italy once more for the event). Thus, it appears as though even despite her “well-preserved” aesthetic and financial security, being a woman at sixty-four with these qualities has the inverse effect that it would if M were a man. Likely to attract all manner of women to her “yard.” In contrast, Madonna is frequently deemed as “scary” or “desperate.” Something, again, the likes of Mick Jagger or McCartney would never be branded. And they’re much older than Madonna, to boot.
In any case, John Lennon said of the most “fuddy-duddy” song on Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band (and arguably in the entire Beatles canon), “I would never even dream of writing a song like that.” Neither would Madonna—nor would she be caught dead (pardon the risky expression) having it played at her birthday, sixty-fourth or otherwise. And maybe Madonna avoiding the romanticized portrait of “Golden Years domesticity” is part of why she’s remained so young at heart, despite her many detractors urging her to “act her age” and to do so “gracefully.” In short, as she predicted long ago in that early 90s interview, they want to put her “out to pasture.” Something M has never conceded to, and she’s not about to start now. For in her case, the more appropriate song title to indicate the beginnings of true old age would be “When I’m 104.” Tellingly, Paul will probably still be getting more respect in death than Lady Madonna in life at that juncture.
