Millennial Mindfuck, Or: Quiet on Set: The Dark Side of Kids TV

For many millennials living in the U.S., Nickelodeon wasn’t just a staple of growing up…it quite literally raised a generation. With the curtain presently being pulled back on what went into making the shows (or “creating the content,” as it would now be said) that formed the millennial mind, it seems just another “house of horrors” (as one child actor’s mom put it) to reckon with (along with Britney Spears’ conservatorship being a needless sham). Another unmasking that proves everything that was once presented to the public on the surface is a lie. But it’s an unmasking that has been slowly peeled back over the years, whether via speculation about the inappropriate relationship between Amanda Bynes and Dan Schneider or the slew of viral compilation videos from Schneider-produced shows that feature overtly sexual innuendos (among the most blatant being Jamie Lynn Spears getting squirted in the face in a manner that mimics a cum shot and Ariana Grande stroking a potato like a penis and demanding, “Give up the juice”). 

In Mary Robertson and Emma Schwartz’s four-part docuseries, Quiet on Set: The Dark Side of Kids TV, these are among the topics explored, along with the urgent need to overhaul the entertainment industry and its handling of child actors. For, despite certain “rules” being in place, like the requirement of a parent or appointed guardian to be on set at all times when their child is working, there remain far too many ways for a child to be abused or taken advantage of. As was the case for many child actors working on Schneider’s sets. Among the most shocking revelations is Drake Bell of Drake & Josh (a series that ran from 2004 to 2007) revealing that he was the one who was sexually assaulted by Nickelodeon-employed dialogue coach Brian Peck during the period between The Amanda Show and the filming of Drake & Josh. Bell was fifteen and sixteen during the time when it happened. 

Although the court sealed the documents with the name of the child star in question, certain key people (particularly the higher-ups at Nickelodeon and Schneider himself) were aware of the “incident” (a word that puts things mildly). Which was hardly limited to one occasion, but rather, ongoing and relentless. With little opportunity to escape from Brian’s clutches as he had maneuvered his way into every aspect of Bell’s existence, even managing to oust his father, Joe Bell—the only person who could see Peck for what he was (i.e., a creep and a pedo)—from his life by convincing him that Joe would ruin Bell’s career. Naive and inexperienced enough to believe Peck had more knowledge about succeeding in Hollywood, the management of Bell’s career was then deferred to his mother, who let Brian handle most of it, including driving Bell to auditions and then suggesting he simply spend the night instead of being driven all the way back to Orange County and then have to wake up extra early to get to another audition in L.A. 

As Bell begins to slowly unravel his horror story, he reaches the moment of truth in describing his inevitable abuse. Unable to put into words what happened, Bell told Schwartz, who interviewed him for this portion, “Why don’t you do this? Why don’t you think of the worst stuff that someone can do to somebody as a sexual assault, and that’ll answer your question.” Schwartz was, indeed, instrumental to getting Bell to finally share his story, with Bell remarking, “She was very sensitive, and we kind of became buddies before [the docuseries], and I could tell that she was coming from a genuine place. When we started our back and forth and it wasn’t [from] an angle of, ‘Okay, what do I have to say to get him involved’ and ‘I’ll just say what I need to say to convince him.’ I really felt a comfort with her.” 

The type of comfort that was obviously lacking from Schneider’s sets. Not only because no one felt safe telling him “no,” but because overtime was frequently an expectation. Especially on the “all-new” All That, with former cast member Kyle Sullivan stating, “The set on All That was dysfunctional. You could just kind of get away with more. Like going overtime in ways that were sort of pushing the envelope.” Former cast member Bryan Hearne adds to that, “They’d be like ‘Hey, can you stay an extra however-long?’ ‘I guess, sure.’ You kind of look at your mom like, ‘We’re ignoring child labor laws again, do you know that?’ All right, let’s shoot.” Indeed, Hearne’s mother, Tracey Browne, is the one who brands the network a house of horrors in Quiet on Set, both upset that Hearne was ousted from the series after just one season, but relieved to see him released from the toxic environment that would turn out to be more toxic than she ever could have fathomed. In fact, it was parents like Brown who often “ruined” their kids’ careers for being “too involved” or “too concerned.” That isn’t something Schneider could abide on his dictatorial sets. And since many parents wanted their children to succeed, they went along with it. Much as the parents who let their children sleep over at Michael Jackson’s house. 

Amanda Bynes’ parents, Lynn and Rick, ostensibly had a go-with-the-flow attitude as well. What with Bynes instantly becoming Schneider’s “new favorite” and often spending plenty of time alone with him in his office while others remained on set. According to former All That cast member Leon Frierson, “There would be times where Amanda would just be missing, and a lot of times we would just hear that she would be with Dan pitching ideas and writing.” Regardless of whether or not Schneider managed to do something sexually inappropriate during those countless hours spent alone with her, there’s no arguing that someone of his age and power position should not have ever been totally alone with Bynes. As for the potentially sexual nature of their dynamic, resurfaced 2010 tweets from Bynes’ account when she was going by Ashley Banks state the disturbing information, “Can you imagine having an abortion at 13 because your boss impregnated you.” While not everyone is convinced that the account was Bynes’, something about that declaration rings eerily true based on everything viewers are shown on Quiet on Set—especially the clearly rampant pedophilia at Nickelodeon (side note: another documentary [released in 2020] called Happy Happy Joy Joy dissects Ren and Stimpy’s creator John Kricfalusi, and the eventual sexual allegations against him). 

Schneider’s perverse sense of humor (if that’s what one wants to call it) was also deeply rooted in the “thrill” of getting overtly sexual innuendos past the censors. For example, one idea that Dan came up with and certainly not Amanda was to create a character named Penelope Taynt. The word “taint” being a reference to the area between the penis and the anus. Per Jenny Kilgen, one of two female writers on The Amanda Show who were illegally asked to share one salary for what would have been given readily to a male writer, Schneider told the writers of that word, “Don’t tell what this word really means. He wanted us to keep that a secret.” Which is one of many reasons why the final statement he gives to Quiet on Set for inclusion as a title card at the end of the show is total bullshit. In it, he assures, “Everything that happened on the shows I ran was carefully scrutinized by dozens of involved adults. All stories, dialogue, costumes and makeup were fully approved by network executives on two coasts. A standards and practices group read and ultimately approved every script, and programming executives reviewed and approved all episodes. In addition, every day on every set, there were always parents and caregivers and their friends watching us rehearse and film.” 

Obviously, the approval of all his work stemmed not only from his ability to “sneak in the sex elements,” but his immense power at the network. Which was at a level that would never allow him to be questioned. After all, this was their “brilliant” hitmaker, why “intervene” with his “process” when the money kept rolling in?

Kate Taylor, a journalist for Business Insider, paints the picture of Schneider’s increasing power at Nickelodeon in the final episode, “Too Close to the Sun.” A depiction that knocks Schneider’s response about the whole thing out of the water: “By the late 2000s, Dan had more control than pretty much any showrunner at Nickelodeon. He had created his own little fiefdom.”

Culture writer Scaachi Koul added, “[His style] really pushed the boundaries of sexualizing young girls.” Cue the cut to a scene of Ariana Grande on Sam & Cat being surrounded by a circle of boys spraying her with their water guns while she laughs and laps it up in a bikini top and shorts, or Tori (Victoria Justice) asking Jade (Elizabeth Gillies), “Wanna get slapped with a sausage?” while holding up an actual sausage on a skewer. Jade leans her cheek toward it and says, “Sure.” Then cue another scene with a joke about being “on the wood” (“I want to be on the wood! What’s the wood? I want to be on it”).

As the episode then pushes into the Zoey 101 era, a costumer for the show who chooses to keep her face off-camera notes, “I always thought Dan had a little bit of an arrested development and he was like that boy that wanted the cute girl to like him.” Based on this endless barrage of examples from his shows that parade these “jokes” that usually degrade the girl at the center of them, that theory holds plenty of weight. 

In another segment, Mike Denton, a cameraman for iCarly, Sam & Cat and Victorious, commented, “In my mind, a kids’ show should be exactly what it is: a kids’ show. And sometimes there were scenes where there was a prop that was like, ‘Hmm, that could be a sexual innuendo.’” Complete with melons being held up to one’s chest, sucking on pickles, a latex glove blown up to look like a nipple-laden udder—we’re talking the gamut. And then there is Schneider’s well-known fetish for close-ups on feet and tongues licking various objects. “Was anyone able to say anything—?” “Oh no, no. This is, it’s Dan’s baby.” Again, this speaks to the immense power Schneider had over the network. Whatever he said went, and he made them too much money for them to pull at any very glaring threads. 

“Dan was Nickelodeon’s golden boy,” Koul confirms. “And even if he and the network were at odds, he had the power to push back. It was very hard to say anything to him.” Even and especially when it came to the “online extras” that were released during the Victorious era. Namely, videos of Ariana Grande licking/biting her own foot, putting tomatoes into a bra and pouring a bottle of water all over her face (because, needless to say, Schneider likes cum shots). In effect, these videos come across more like OnlyFans content than kid-friendly fare. 

In terms of Schneider’s conceptualization for Victorious, his ominous take was: “If there is anything I’ve learned about kids today—and I’m not saying this is good or bad—it’s that they all want to be stars.” So “desperately,” in fact, that they would endure the abuse of working for Schneider. As though to drive home the point that Nickelodeon in general and Schneider’s series in particular were a breeding ground for abusers (and, oh yeah, pedophiles), Łukasz Gottwald a.k.a. Dr. Luke provided the theme song for the show, and undoubtedly greased the wheels to get Kesha to appear on it (when she was still Ke$ha) in 2011. Just three years later, at the beginning of 2014, Kesha would blaze a trail for blowing the whistle on abusive men by checking into rehab for her eating disorder, which she mentioned was mostly due to the verbal lashings she suffered from Dr. Luke telling her things like how was the size of “a fucking refrigerator.” 

By the end of the year, the extent of Dr. Luke’s abuse was further revealed when Kesha filed a civil suit against her longtime producer for “infliction of emotional distress, sex-based hate crimes and employment discrimination.” If only some of the Nickelodeon stars and staff had been able to do the same. But in 2014, it can’t be overstated how groundbreaking Kesha’s announcement actually was. After all, this was the same year that Schneider was honored at the Nickelodeon Kids’ Choice Awards with a Lifetime Achievement Award. This in spite of all the open secrets and whisperings about his behavior that had gone on for decades at this point. In this regard, there’s certainly no denying the Harvey Weinstein parallels to Schneider—complete with asking women for massages. While Schneider “at least” didn’t do so after cornering them in a hotel room, it was a different kind of degradation to be asked to do such a thing in front of so many people. Not to mention the implication that Schneider didn’t value the actual work these women were employed to do on the set (i.e., wardrobe and costuming). 

Schneider’s repeated ability to bake sexual and debasing content into his shows not only went unchecked, but undoubtedly influenced an entire generation of unsuspecting child viewers who were, at the time, too innocent to read into what they were seeing. Of course, a spokesperson for Schneider claims that it’s only perverted “adult minds” that would think such a thing, insisting, “Unfortunately, some adults project their adult minds onto kids’ shows, drawing false conclusions about them.” Um no, the conclusions are pretty clear. And there’s no doubt that this content was able to slip through the cracks precisely because, for many kids watching, these shows were their “caretaker,” their “babysitter” when there weren’t any adults around. Just as there seemed to be no adults around on the set of Schneider’s various series. 

“Who is sexual innuendo for on a kids show?” Koul ominously asks at what point. The only answer can be, well, pervs and pedophiles. Like the very people who worked on and created these shows. Because it wasn’t just Schneider and Peck who turned out to be of dubious intent in their dealings with children, but also Jason Handy (of all the last names), a production assistant/self-described “full-blown” pedophile, and Ezel Channel, a man who was already registered as a sex offender when he was hired to work at Nickelodeon’s Burbank lot. Subsequently, he brought an underage boy to that lot and abused him there.

As for Schneider’s attempt to “make good” with what amounts to a twenty-minute deflection posing as a mea culpa, Alexa Nikolas of Zoey 101 said it best when she responded, “Where’s a phone call of an apology? How come you can do all of this, how can everyone do all of this but not reach out to the person that they hurt?” Drake Bell made a similar assessment about Nickelodeon’s public apology, deeming it “pretty empty.” 

As for millennials who ever dare to rewatch any of these series in the present, they might as well have the same disclaimer as Quiet on Set does before each episode: “This series investigates the abuses experienced by children from the adults they were expected to trust.” In a way, the same statement can be applied to millennials who were expected to trust the generation of adults that created the current climate (literally and figuratively).