In a new series called Mondo Appropriato, Culled Culture examines how “on the nose” something is in the pop cultural and/or political landscape.
Although Andrew Cuomo’s office has been careful to specify that Elkan Abramowitz, the lawyer Woody Allen used during the sexual allegation case against him in 1992, will be taking the primary lead as a defense lawyer for the nursing home scandal that’s come to light, there’s no denying that Cuomo has effectively “stained” himself with this attorney selection. For yes, obviously Abramowitz will also look into ways to shield Cuomo from the fallout of the sexual harassment allegations against him. After all, this is the man who fought not only for Allen, but also Harvey Weinstein (whom Allen famously dubbed “a sad, sick man”). And yes, a picture of Allen and Weinstein together is rather enough to give one nightmares and make the Jewish people curse the day these public figures rose to prominence only to end up giving shiksas fodder for being anti-Semitic.
And so, with his highly specific expertise, how could Cuomo possibly not ask Abramowitz for a bit of “extra” advice on how to combat the accusations from women that only seem to keep mounting? There’s obviously a reason Cuomo would choose someone so illustriously aggressive and underhanded with his methods. And there’s also a reason why Allen once fearfully stated during the outset of the Weinstein/#MeToo reckoning, “You don’t want it to lead to a witch hunt atmosphere, a Salem atmosphere, where every guy in an office who winks at a woman is suddenly having to call a lawyer to defend himself.” Not exactly a great scenario for Allen to paint as an example of not being creepy. Because yeah, no woman should have to be winked at in an office.
Abramowitz, for those who have forgotten, is the man who was able to spin the Allen case to the advantage of the accused. Mind you, it was an accusation that not many could come back from: molesting their own daughter. But with Abramowitz’s tactics–including saying Dylan was coached to speak against Allen–the charges were dropped and the media blitzkrieg eventually died down. People even came to accept Allen’s new life with his twenty-one year old “daughter,” Soon-Yi, as normal–“European.” Specifically, Greek (and, oh yeah, Weinstein worked with Allen on Mighty Aphrodite, among other of his films distributed by Miramax).
The more one thinks about it, the more one wouldn’t even be surprised if the only reason Cuomo’s spokesperson, Rich Azzopardi, would say, “[Abramowitz] is representing the executive chamber in the DOJ matter,” is to attempt throwing people off the scent of immediately associating Cuomo’s lawyer as the guy who is most known because he’s defended such high-profile sexual predators. This clearly proves just how little Cuomo understands the offense of his actions, and that to retain counsel from this particular person makes them all the more affronting.
In the wake of the various PR disasters that have stalked Cuomo in the time since New Yorkers were declaring themselves Cuomosexuals, the governor issued the non-apology, “I now understand that my interactions may have been insensitive or too personal and that some of my comments, given my position, made others feel in ways I never intended. I acknowledge some of the things I have said have been misinterpreted as an unwanted flirtation. To the extent anyone felt that way, I am truly sorry about that.”
Girl, it’s okay. We know you don’t actually understand, and that you’re merely saying this as a means to hold onto power for as long as you can. It’s not like AOC is going to run for governor (yet)–there aren’t any “glitzy” replacements in the works. So we can see why you’d keep grasping at control as hard as you do to women’s bodies. And Abramowitz can probably help with that.
