In a series called Mondo Bullshittio, let’s talk about some of the most glaring hypocrisies in pop culture… and all that it affects.
As celebrities have sought to do their best to carve out a place for themselves in this new narrative called no one gives that much of a shit about them (nor the products they’re usually shilling–here’s looking at you, Kardashian-Jenners and Rihanna), it should come as no shock that musicians and “personalities” alike have started to jump on the enterprising bandwagon of adding face masks to their merchandise repertoire. While the old chestnut about proceeds (net proceeds, mind you) going to charity ([un]specifically, “various charities”) has been doled out to justify what they must obviously know somewhere deep down is in poor taste, we all know that “donations” can become nebulous as they get funneled through various “systems” and “organizations” (not to mention the fact it’s just another way for celebrities and their puppeteers–i.e. record labels–to benefit from a major tax write-off).
No matter, people like Ariana Grande, Billie Eilish, Justin Bieber and The Weeknd (shit, even 2Pac and others long dead are being dredged up by Universal) are already hawking their wares. And all for the “support” of the fans, of course (with Universal Music Group using the mantra for their coterie of shills, “We’ve got you covered”). Surely not themselves, that are going to benefit from plenty of free advertising in the post-apocalypse tableau of denizens walking around in fear, barely stealing a glance at anyone for fear that said stranger might infect them with COVID-19 via just one look. Still, a glance is enough time for propaganda to, in turn, infect one’s mind as the passerby wonders later why they’re so interested in listening to the thank u, next album again.
And it isn’t just celebs who have joined in on the “altruistic” venture. Fashion designers and labels have jumped on the bandwagon as well, with everyone from Alice + Olivia to New Balance to Citizens of Humanity looking to fill the marketplace “void.” Of course, with everyone thinking the same way about such a profitable item (as one former trend forecaster put it–in the manner of Stefon on SNL–“The mask is the new ‘must-have accessory’ … but literally. You must have it.'”), it looks as though there can be no denying that money-hungriness over “humanitarianism” is prevailing again. Particularly since everyone is seeking a way to hustle for cash in this time of decided joblessness, which is precisely why DIYers on Etsy have also taken to the trend like coronavirus to New York.
While, sure, there are plenty who feel there’s “no harm” in simply providing the people with what they need (and now, want), the risk that comes with commodification is always that someone, likely and as usual, the one at the bottom rung of the wealth ladder, will be exploited. The celebrity and designer face mask phenomenon, with all of its mass production implications, is sure to be no different. No matter how “ethically and environmentally conscious” someone like Gwyneth Paltrow says it is (on a side note, the “germ-filtering” Airinum mask she promoted on her social media retails at upwards of $99).
Obviously, there’s no stopping the steam train now. It’s undeniably official: pandemics have been given the twenty-first century treatment, wherein it’s not only important that you follow government guidelines by wearing a mask, but that you also wear one that reflects your own so-called personality and tastes. Because “heaven” forbid you should be caught at the grocery store looking utterly plain in a basic, solid color cloth mask, when this is one of the most unique opportunities in modern history to “express yourself.” Your style, your musical preferences and, of course, your own brand of self-involvement on par with a celebrity’s.
