In a series called Mondo Bullshittio, let’s talk about some of the most glaring hypocrisies and faux pas in pop culture… and all that it affects.
In another classic case that proves the only reason rich people are rich is because they never spend money on anyone else, news of the ArcLight’s closure in Los Angeles has supposedly “rattled” celebrity enthusiasts of the establishment. And everyone is waiting for “somebody” (the name most bandied has been cinephile Quentin Tarantino, who already owns New Beverly) to step up to the plate and announce they’ll take over running it. After all, this is a fairly natural assumption when reviewing the endless roster of celebrities that live in the city.
And while fame does not always connote having a lot of money (see: Pauly Shore), in L.A., it usually does. Even Madonna, who just bought a nineteen-million-dollar house from The Weeknd in the illustrious Hidden Hills neighborhood, is someone we might all look to as a means to rescue this theater. For if she really wants to make a splash in the film industry—as has long been an ambition of hers—this would be the way to do it (plus, she could have a red-carpet premiere of the Madame X Tour there). But Madonna serves as only one example of the plethora of celebrities who would not only be doing a service to the film community in making this purchase, but would also stand to gain something themselves. All at the cost of dropping some dough that, for them, amounts to pennies.
Alas, it seems even celebrities au présent are fearful of losing their bag in a climate of continued economic uncertainty. They know they need the plebes of this world to have some amount of “disposable income” to spend if they’re going to keep adding to their own—and at this moment, the plebes do not have a lot of disposable income. And so it’s harder and harder to be famous without ultimately succumbing to the trap of being a shill for some morally bankrupt corporation demanding we buy sneakers or drinks or some inessential new tech item. The point being, celebrities would like us to believe it’s a “scarce” time for them as well (“scarcity,” in this instance, being extremely relative). Which is why they can’t just step forward and buy a theater out of the kindness of their frozen heart. It wouldn’t be financially sound.
And so, while filmmakers like Rian Johnson, James Gunn and Edgar Wright lament the theater’s closure (or openly hope “something” can be done), nowhere amid that lament seems to be the “Eureka!” moment that, “Hey, we’re all a shit ton of rich people living near this really important movie theater that helps all of our careers, why don’t we at least each chip in something to try to keep the dream alive?” Instead, the narrative is: that’s not how things work. For the ArcLight exists under the umbrella of the ArcLight/Pacific Theaters chain, which has effectively decided to close as a result of not seeing “a path forward” after the pandemic. Ergo, buying “just the ArcLight Hollywood” wouldn’t be kosher. Really though? You’re telling us that money doesn’t change everything? That it’s not the panacea it seems to be whenever it’s convenient for individuals who want to spend it on what they want to spend it on?
Worse than doing nothing, however, are botched attempts at “charity,” like the recent instance of Kylie Jenner urging her followers to donate to the ailing friend of her makeup artist (she was quick to add she herself contributed the “steep” amount of five thousand dollars). It was a classic example of celebrities seeming utterly oblivious to why “commoners” rage about how they should “open their purse” to help the causes in need. And if ever there was a more tailored situation for celebrity purse-opening, it is something as quintessentially Hollywood as the ArcLight. While everyone is trying to console themselves by remarking that the Cinerama Dome will at least likely be preserved, it’s fairly apparent that saving the ArcLight should be as easy as a few celebrities making a withdrawal from their bank account. But no, in this case, that’s not “how things are done.”
