It almost seems more than slightly tinged with shade (whether “unwitting” or not) that Jeremy Scott should choose to wield puppets as his models for the latest Moschino runway show for Milan Fashion Week. As though to highlight the point that the vacuous coterie of waifs usually of the human variety are already so marionette-like in their mannerisms and manipulability. Of course, Scott is playing the pandemic card (as we all do when it suits us) and insisting use of puppets was the best way to cater to the limitations of social distancing–not to mention get Charlie Kaufman all hot and bothered (see: Being John Malkovich). While other designers were, let’s be honest, too lazy to get creative with presentation–favoring digital versions and livestreamed shows instead–Scott said, “No, let me make an undercutting statement.”
Being a couture connoisseur and a man of the world, Scott was not, however, going to settle for just any “old” puppets (for there is even age discrimination against puppets in the fashion world). No, he was going to ensure they were plucked from Jim Henson’s Creature Shop. That’s right, they have the cachet and corporate grandeur of the Muppets on their side (one assumes Miss Piggy is fuming–Kermit, on the other hand, is drinking himself to death in a bar). Even Kate Moss at her zenith couldn’t have been bequeathed with so much instantaneous clout.
As though taking major inspiration from Anomalisa (another Kaufman masterpiece), Scott provided a scaled down version of a runway show, featuring some of the usual key players one would see in the front row, including Anna Wintour and Edward Enninful… in puppet form (to be honest, there’s not much change in Wintour’s countenance). They were all socially distanced as well, not so much a “comment” on the pandemic as a testament to how goddamn tedious and time-consuming it is to make custom puppets. While Scott claims he “misses” working with real models, one has to wonder if he truly noticed a patent difference between their glazed over looks and lack of conversational skills. Then again, surely he must have taken note of the fact that his drug supply was still largely intact after finishing the show.
Not one to exclude himself from the festivities, Scott also had his own likeness translated into a puppet wearing a crown and a shirt featuring the signature phrase, “I Don’t Speak Italian, But I Do Speak Moschino.” As the real Scott–in a carnival setting–passes by the puppet version of himself inside a classic “puppet box,” or stage, he asks, “Are you guys getting ready to put on a show?” Puppet Scott answers, “Of course, dear boy, what does it look like?” Scott gushes, “Wow, I just love a puppet show.” Puppet Scott chastises, “This isn’t a puppet show, this is a fashion show.” That it is, and one almost wonders how models were ever really deemed worthier of these clothes than the puppets, who would never deign to gain weight or develop a coke habit to help assist with said thinness. If anything, a puppet has even more personality than a model. Or a pop star, as *NSYNC showed us long ago with their No Strings Attached album concept, and the according “It’s Gonna Be Me” video that finally made you understand why a childless adult woman would be wandering through a toy store.
Whether or not the puppet show was a one-off response to the restrictions of the fashion realm during the time of COVID-19, more designers ought to consider this Charlie Kaufman-friendly approach. After all, one can’t be hit over the head enough with the symbolism that we’re all puppets of some sadistic higher power (i.e. economic inequality as puppeteered by the government).
