After much buildup and anticipation, Nicki Minaj finally bestowed the music video for “Bed” upon us, only to leave us a little bit high and dry despite the oceanic landscape. Where she could have played up a satirical angle about inviting homeless men into her lavish abode to show off more than just her “strawberry lingerie” to them, she instead opted to cop Azealia Banks’ steez (so says Banks) and go all mermaid seemingly for the sole purpose of memorexing herself in her prime as a nymph that Hans Christian Andersen never could have envisioned. Grande, on the other hand, maintains her sea legs for the poolside portion of the program.
She is very much barely there, an ancillary after thought–a thin little twig that is no match for Nicki Minaj’s infamously connotative backside (which really does make Jennifer Lopez and Iggy Azalea’s attempt at having a song called “Booty” look rather pathetic). But they have a special partnership when it comes to complementing one another’s stylings (as was the case on “Side to Side” and the recently released “The Light Is Coming“). Plus, Ariana is allegedly about to be a married woman despite certain offensive jokes pertaining to a terrorist attack she was at the center of made by her fiancé–she likely doesn’t want to flaunt too much because being a woman still entails not “upsetting the man,” as Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie would put it. No, that task is left almost entirely to Minaj, who seems to be relishing her recent upswing in being sought after in the world of couture (not just because of a Karl Lagerfeld photoshoot for Elle, but also the videos for previous Queen singles, “Chun-Li,” directed by Steven Klein, and “Barbie Tingz,” directed by Giovanni Bianco)–owning her confidence in new and overt ways.
Even so, it doesn’t mean she can’t show love for her Rainbow/F21 days (one would like to assume there were, at the very least, a few Rainbows in the Jamaica, Queens area where Minaj came up), sporting a tastefully tacky My Little Pony one-piece (that probably actually costs a million dollars or some such price tag that doesn’t compute) as she assumes various “mermaid poses” sans tail.
As far as Hype Williams-directed affairs go, this one is a far cry from the genius of something like Busta Rhymes’ and Janet Jackson’s “What’s It Gonna Be?!,” instead looking more like it was quickly created using the InShot app. But hey, when your aim is to showcase bodies and promote brands (Beats by Dre headphones, for one), artistic integrity has to come second.
Speaking of things with people’s (or companies’) names on it, Lyft gets a huge plug as Minaj steps into a car that a Lyft driver would likely never have to offer. Where she ends up going, ultimately, is toward someone she can share her bed with besides Ariana. Because what else are you rolling around in strawberry lingerie for if not to get someone else to take it off?
At the end, some outdoor beds have the names of Minaj and Grande on them, as NFL players Odell Beckham Jr. and Brad Wing await with plates of strawberries (Minaj loves strawberry imagery apparently). And naturally, each one chooses the man that is color and proportion-coordinated to their own aesthetics. It’s all very vanilla soft serve, and makes you rather yearn for the dystopian Mad Max outdoor setting that found its way into one of Williams’ best works, “California Love.” Or even the similar watery backdrop of the music video Aaliyah died for, “Rock the Boat.” But alas, Minaj and Grande aren’t rocking anyone’s boat in this video except their own.
