As immortalized in the best documentary ever made, Truth or Dare, Madonna famously called then boyfriend Warren Beatty “pussy man” as an epithet connoting that she was dissatisfied with what a wet blanket he constantly was. Twenty-seven years later, it would appear Nicki Minaj is taking the same issue with all these fake macho rappers who don’t seem to be “hard” enough to ever get her off (in addition to taking issue with Cardi B throwing a shoe in her direction, Courtney Love throwing a makeup compact at Madonna-style–truly the Nicki/Madonna connection is more apparent than one would think).
So it’s no wonder she’s recently endowed us with a song that systematically rewrites the misogyny of a Biggie classic (as well as the general misogyny omnipresent in rap). Accordingly, Nicki Minaj’s “Barbie Dreams” has been given a fitting visual accompaniment, presented in the lush, vibrant color scheme of “Super Bass.” Directed once more by Hype Williams (who gave us a less memorable video for the Ariana Grande featuring single, “Bed“), the premise finds Minaj holding up each little puppet for her mocking pleasure–giving him the finger(s) up his ass he so obviously craves. Because that’s the thing about misogynists: they’re always useless where it really counts in proving the “manhood” they so often prattle on about.
At the very least, however, she has her couture to entertain her where these pussy men cannot, strutting and dancing around in various looks in between the camera cutting to the Muppet-esque incarnations of these rappers. DJ Khaled in particular looking utterly unbangable, even as a puppet (for some reason, one would think that would make him slightly more aesthetically appealing). So Nicki must content herself with the things that best distract women: appearance. With hair color changes that are dizzying even to the most seasoned of hairstylists, Nicki wields her body in a manner sarcastic (shaking around her tits with her own hands at one point for added tongue-in-cheek effect). For she knows that no pussy man can handle what she’s got to offer. It’s simply “inoperable machinery” to the average ill-equipped panisse. But at the very least, she can maintain a sense of humor about it, even though the ones she’s speaking on (not to mention her overall aim at clowning on men in general) might not be able to.
Which brings us back to the intro to the video, in which a white man puppet gives the overly excited spiel, “Good evening and welcome…I’d like to welcome every one of you to Barbie’s dreams.” Because that’s just what they are–dreams…of being “laid properly,” as Louise Sawyer would say, in an epoch that allows men–especially rappers–to thrive on a persona of false bravado that rarely if ever translates into adequato sex. So let them be puppets, because that’s what they are to the women who know how to properly wield them to at least finagle some semblance of an orgasm.
