For the most part, it is mothers who bear the brunt of their child’s (or children’s) resentment. Something to do, perhaps, with coming directly from her, one body formed literally out of another. In short, “You forced me into this world, bitch.” And so maybe this is also why mothers try especially hard to, let’s call it, “maintain their edge.” This has come across over the decades in many ways, with the tropes of Mrs. George from Mean Girls (“I’m not like a regular mom. I’m a cool mom, right Regina?”) and the infiltration of Kris Jenner (who meta-ly adopted the role of Mrs. George for Ariana Grande’s “thank u, next” video) into our collective consciousness. There has been Goldie Hawn with Kate Hudson, Madonna with Lourdes, Carrie Fisher with Billie Lourd–all sources to “prove” to us that you can still maintain your identity, be chic (as opposed to devolving into a ball of frumpery with food stains on your clothing) and be a mother (or motherfucker, as Madonna cheekily touted in t-shirt form after having her second child before embarking on the Drowned World Tour).
However, the latest and most concrete instance of a new-to-the-world-of-matriarchy celebrity is peak “Let’s convince other women birthing doesn’t equal death of ‘cool’ ergo death of former youthful self.” Photographed for Girls. Girls. Girls. magazine by Claire Rothstein, Rachel McAdams (fittingly Regina George herself, daughter to ultimate “cool mom”) appears to us in BVLGARI diamonds and Versace couture, all made “raw” by the presence of her Spectra breast pump accessories (a brand that offers an arsenal of available options that can easily rack up to the cost of a petite diamond you’d rather have when you’re not a celebrity and must choose between baby or adequate fashion).
The image is more disturbing than shocking (the two adjectives don’t always coincide), with Rothstein insisting, “Obviously #rachelmcadams looks incredible and was quite literally the dream to work with but also this shoot was about 6 months post her giving birth to her son, so between shots she was expressing/pumping as still breastfeeding. We had a mutual appreciation disagreement about who’s idea it was to take this picture but I’m still sure it was hers which makes me love her even more. Breastfeeding is the most normal thing in the world and I can’t for the life of me imagine why or how it is ever frowned upon or scared of. I don’t even think it needs explaining but just wanted to put this out there, as if it even changes one person’s perception of something so natural, so normal, so amazing then that’s great.”
But why go so far out of the way to change people’s perception of motherhood and its gross accoutrements if it’s so fucking great? Why is there even a need? Just keep it to your damn self since it’s such a wondrous and worthwhile gift that clearly everyone should want to partake of themselves without needing to be convinced as we persist in turning the world into one giant garbage dump with more actual assholes to deposit excrement into diapers to spill into landfills. But oh, you have a purpose now, and there can be no price put on that. Especially when you’re rich already and your baby is clearly so much more special than all the other low-budget babies so surely the environment can make an exception and accommodate (’cause we all know your breast pump and its appurtenances are ending up in the trash when you start buying new expensive shit for your ever-mutating in size spawn).
McAdams, who had her son back in April, is being applauded for behavior that is not only basic (oh my, you have to stop in between photo and film shoots to squeeze some fucking milk out of your tits. Like every other mother who breastfeeds doesn’t have to make the same time in her day, but just because she works at a job less glamorous, no one gives a shit), but, in truth, non-commendable. For it would seem celebrity mothers become even more obsessed with the false “meaning” of having a child as a means to understand the randomness and incongruity of fame and its bizarre trappings. Case in point, McAdams gushing to the U.K.’s Sunday Times, “[People say] your life is not your own any more. But I had 39 years of me, I was sick of me, I was so happy to put the focus on some other person.” To solidify the cliche, she added that it’s “greatest thing that’s ever happened to me, hands down.”
Continuing to trumpet the lie that motherhood is–will and should forever remain–the end all, be all, the only true pièce de résistance a woman’s life can have in order to be enough–even when she is a fucking Hollywood star for Chrissakes–is not “the most normal thing in the world.” Hence, neither is breastfeeding. It would have been much more avant-garde for someone like Kiernan Shipka to pose with these motherly symbols of perpetual bogged downedness while chewing on a Mardi Gras cake baby. A childless ingenue sporting breast pumps is, to be blunt, far more subversive than yet another celebrity mom spouting bullshit about the “marvels” and “naturalness” of child-rearing (especially when they employ people to help with said rearing).
