Although Sabrina Carpenter announced that the release of a deluxe edition of Short n’ Sweet was in honor of her two Grammy wins for the album (Best Pop Vocal Album and Best Pop Solo Performance for “Espresso”), it’s likely that she already had that plan in the bag regardless. Particularly with the strategic timing of its release on Valentine’s Day—for what is Carpenter if not pop music’s current “Goddess of Love (Gone Wrong)” (which makes sense since her sign is Taurus, ruled by Venus, the real goddess of love)?
To continue emphasizing that point, Carpenter picks up where she left off, motif-wise, on Short n’ Sweet with the first of five new bonus tracks, “15 Minutes.” And yes, in some ways, it’s a riff on the Andy Warhol adage, especially considering Carpenter’s “sudden” rise to fame in 2024 (a.k.a. she had already released five albums before Short n’ Sweet and, finally, mainstream radio caught up with her). But it’s also a nod to how many “pretty boys” Carpenter can get through while relishing those so-called fifteen minutes (Barry Keoghan has obviously already been checked off the list). So it is that she engages in her now “trademark” brand of bawdy humor/plays on words and expressions in the chorus: “I can do a lot with fifteen minutes (sure can)/Only gonna take two to make you finish/Piss some people off, show ‘em what they’re missin’/You, you, you know I can.” And oh, she will. Because, as she discusses throughout the song, she’s hyper-aware that time in general is fleeting, but so is time in the spotlight—and she’s damn well going to make the most of it.
So it is that she sings with her signature chirpiness (while saying something totally antithetical to her tone), “Well, it’s fleetin’ like we’re all gonna die (all gonna die)/Hard to hold like conversations when high (conversations when high)/When you’re hot, they’re gonna eat you alive (alive, alive, alive).” That last line also having a double meaning that pertains to 1) Carpenter being a “hot commodity” right now and 2) being aesthetically hot. But having seen how fame has chewed up and spit out other pop stars throughout history, Carpenter is taking her current success with a grain of salt (or maybe sugar), adding in the bridge, “When my time’s up, baby (na-na-na)/I’ll leak some pictures maybe/Say somethin’ batshit crazy/I’ll do it, don’t you make me.” In other words, she’s going to go out with a, er, bang (see? Enough time spent listening to Carpenter and you’ll become perv-y, too).
The next song is a familiar one: “Please Please Please,” but with Dolly Parton. This feature being a testament to just how “big” little Sabrina has gotten in the months since the song was first released. And, considering that Parton’s influence was already all over the single in the first place, her addition to the track feels only right. Particularly when Parton layers the chorus with her own vocals, this version now much more “country-fied” thanks to use of a twangin’ fiddle. And yes, one will immediately note the alteration of “motherfucker” in the line that now goes, “I beg you, don’t embarrass me like the others.” After all, Parton is still a proponent of good, clean complaining about men.
But that doesn’t mean Carpenter has to be, as she proves on the next track that showcases yet another double entendre-y fetish. This via the title alone: “Couldn’t Make It Any Harder.” However, rather than being a song about erections (and an appreciation for them), this is Carpenter at her most “earnest ballad” level. Produced by John Ryan and Julian Bunetta, the track bears a certain “Hopelessly Devoted to You” sound and intonation—except the only thing that Carpenter is devoted to here is the idea that, “I couldn’t make it any harder to love me.” Largely because she’s been burned too many times in l’amour before. Or at least what she once thought was l’amour. So it is that she explains her hesitancy to put out with the line, “Fuckboys you’ll never meet/Well, you can thank them for why I’m so goddamn reactionary.” To be sure, there is a certain early Britney Spears-meets-Jessica Simpson “virginality” (albeit with a sardonic take on that quality) to the lyrics, “Your arms are reachin’/And your eager heart is throbbin’/I know you’re frustrated/‘Cause I will not let you touch me/You say you can take it/But you don’t know how hard I can make it.” Yes, it smacks of Spears singing (with total seriousness), “I wanna believe in everything that you say/‘Cause it sounds so good/But if you really want me, move slow/There’s things about me, you just have to know/Sometimes I run/Sometimes I hide/Sometimes I’m scared of you/But all I really want is to hold you tight/Treat you right/Be with you day and night/Baby, all I need is time.”
The 1980s tinge of “Busy Woman” signals that the production controls have returned to Jack Antonoff, and lyrically mirrors some of the themes on “Good Graces.” It’s on the latter that Carpenter sings, “When I love you, I’m sweet like an angel/Drawin’ hearts ’round our names/And dreamin’ of/Writing vows, rockin’ cradles/Don’t mistake my nice for naive/I don’t waste a second, I know lots of guys/You do somethin’ suspect, this cute ass bye-bye.” Carpenter makes a similar point during the opening lines to “Busy Woman,” describing, “I’m so mature [like SZA on “Kill Bill”], collected and sensible/Except when I get hit with rejection/To turn me down, well, that’s just unethical/I’ll turn into someone you’re scared to know.” This, too, is another staple of Taurean behavior in love.
However, a common behavior in any sign, as a woman, is to be easily talked into liking a guy if they express even the slightest interest in you. So it is that Carpenter speaks to every girl’s soul when she delivers the chorus, “But if you need my love/My clothes are off, I’m comin’ over to your place/And if you don’t need my love/Well, I didn’t want your little bitch ass anyway/‘Cause I’m a busy woman/I wouldn’t let you come into my calendar any night/But if you want my kisses/I’ll be your perfect Mrs. ‘til the day that one of us dies.” Unfortunately, many a straight man still doesn’t understand how easy it is to please a woman if they could just fucking act right. And, in another moment highlighting embittered realizations about the potential for male disappointment, Carpenter asserts, “If you don’t want me, I’ll just deem you gay” (it’s much less polite than Billie Eilish saying, “I just kind of wish you were gay”).
For the grand finale of her deluxe edition, Carpenter gives listeners a song called “Bad Reviews.” Obviously, not a reference to herself since she hasn’t been getting any lately. Bad reviews, that is. Another slowed-down, country-esque track, Carpenter offers something of a “Slim Pickins” redux here, sound- and vocal-wise. Not to mention her continued acknowledgement of how desperate a girl is these days to have to feel obliged to settle for the type of men “giving themselves” to the proverbial dating pool. Except they’re not really doing that at all—always half in and half out (though mostly a hundred percent out) despite the fact that the woman willing to be with him is way out of his league.
Alas, due to the scarcity of “straight” and single men (and now, the scarcity of monogamous men), Carpenter and women everywhere are willing to “give it a chance.” Only to be perennially disappointed by the ugly guy she thought would at least be nicer because of his inferior looks. But no, by and large, it’s as Miranda Hobbes (Cynthia Nixon) once said: “I have been out with some of those guys. The short, fat, poor ones. It makes absolutely no difference. They are just as self-centered and unappreciative as the good-looking ones.”
Carpenter would tend to agree, singing, “I’ve heard all the bad news and the bad reviews/Couple bad gut feelings, well, I’ve had them too/But, still, I choose to be in love with you/Been alone for so long, I’ve got somethin’ to prove/If I close an eye, it’s almost like your red flags are blue/So, still, I choose to be in love with you.” She can even freely admit, “I’m intentionally careless, least I got self-awareness/Just want someone to love me who doesn’t.” Story of every girl’s life, sooner or later.
But, even so, they go against their better judgment, fully aware of the “slim pickins” available (cue the line, “If I can’t have the one I love, I guess it’s you that I’ll be kissin’/Just to get my fixins”). Thus, Carpenter’s resonant chorus in “Bad Reviews” is sure to become an instant fan favorite, with women across the globe perfectly capable of singing along to, “I’ve heard all the bad news and the bad reviews/All the friends tryna save me, well, I, I cut them loose/‘Cause I refuse to be wrong again/And I can’t lose another boy that’s not even my boyfriend/Still, I choose to be in love with you.” Even when the object of one’s “affection” couldn’t give less of a shit.
In spite of this, Carpenter (and those who appreciate her music) will keep trying. Complete with a revamped version of her original “pinup”-inspired (though really taken from a Cosmo France photoshoot) album cover. For, while in the original image, Carpenter was presented as a more “coiffed,” “polished” version of herself, on this edition, she opts for something “messier.” Something designed to read as more effortlessly “sultry” and “seductive.” Perhaps because she’s feeling more confident in the wake of her newfound success…even despite the continued romantic disillusionment caused by straight men (*cough cough* Barry). Fortunately, though, the silver lining is that there will likely be plenty more deluxe editions of her albums inspired by fuckboys to come.
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