The gentle tones showcased by Billie Eilish on her latest single, “Male Fantasy,” might briefly lull the listener into thinking it’s a song featuring just another forlorn girl pining over a cad, but its undercurrent of resentment reveals the same fine line between love and hate that SZA has freshly highlighted on “I Hate U” (maybe she needed to cleanse herself after being part of something as bathetic as “Kiss Me More”). Which, sadly, is not quite as rage-filled as Kelis’ “Caught Out There”–commonly assumed to be called “I Hate You So Much Right Now.”
As a single that was never necessarily intended for official release, SZA gave jilted lovers everywhere an anthem to cling to this month after TikTok made yet another rather random track go viral. But it isn’t so random when taking into account the universal experience of heartbreak. With its own laid-back musical sound (“Male Fantasy” being even more laid-back via those scant strings), SZA remarks, “I feel so ordinary, sad when you around me” in the same spirit as Billie Eilish’s sentiment, expressed inversely, “When I’m away from you, I’m happier than ever.” As for the “Male Fantasy” lyrical comparisons, both women struggle to get back to the people they were before falling in love with this man who did them wrong. Or, as SZA puts it, “Used to be too solid ’til you scrambled me/Used to be your rider, you mishandle me/Used to be nonviolent ’til you ambushed me.”
In a more abstract manner, Eilish notes upon losing her old self with the lines, “I got a call from a girl I used to know/We were inseparablе years ago/Thought we’d get along, but it wasn’t so.” Probably because she couldn’t recognize that naive, innocent person any longer–and trying to reconnect with her only makes Eilish further regret succumbing to the trap of “love,” a phenomenon that so often transforms into hate (the cruelest alchemy of all, if you will).
But like Faye Dunaway as Evelyn Cross Mulwray in Chinatown vacillating between saying, “My sister, my daughter,” people–especially women–can’t help going back and forth with these emotions. As indicated when SZA admits, “I’ve been up, baby/Heavy reminiscin’/Heavy on the missin’ you/Wish shit was different than what it was.” And, also like Evelyn going back and forth, both nouns are the truth, just as both love and hate are the sentiments being felt (often at the same time)… try as Eilish might to end her album on a positive note by saying, “Can’t get over you/No matter what I do/I know I should but I could never hate you.”
Well, that’s not entirely true. After all, Eilish’s video for “Male Fantasy” illustrates that old adage about how “depression is anger turned inward.” And obviously, as anyone would be, she’s angry at the person who fucked it all up between them. Sure, fault goes both ways, but if we’re being honest, there’s always someone in the dynamic who was guiltier of letting the relationship atrophy. Or of just being a full-stop asshole.
Mirroring the visual of Eilish in her dark apartment restlessly moving around in her bed, SZA sings, “I’ve been up, baby/Lost in the lie of us/Lost, ain’t no findin’ us.” In contrast to Eilish, SZA is willing to admit that her emotions have fully crossed over to the other side of the spectrum as she confirms, “And if you wondered if I hate you (I do)/Shitty of you to make me feel just like this/What I would do to make you feel just like this/And if you wondered if I hate you (fuck you).”
While “Male Fantasy” might be “warmer and fuzzier” than that, it still very clearly elucidates the love-hate struggle that comes after a breakup. Some are more willing to embrace a “California zen” approach like Eilish after enough time spent depressed in their apartment, while others can never really move on from the slight.
