They say monogamy can’t exist anymore. That’s it’s more extinct even than the dodo. And, in point of fact, everywhere you look this does seem to be the case. From Tom and Nicole to Brad and Angelina, nothing gold can stay when it comes to couples we thought were ironclad. But through it all, the one duo that has remained unshakeable is Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip. Whether this has to do with them being both second cousins once removed and third cousins (incest is always hot among royals, perhaps even more that it was to George Michael Bluth with regard to Maeby) is arguable. But surely there blood connection through King Christian IX of Denmark and Queen Victoria facilitated an attraction, a melding of familial and royal lineage, if you will.
It was an encounter with Philip in 1939 (after just two previous ones years before) at the Royal Naval College in Dartmouth that prompted Elizabeth to have truly fallen in love, so she attests. At just thirteen years old, her sudden commitment to a man eight years her senior proves the highly effective older male courting trend of “getting them while they’re malleable.” That the two continued to write one another letters over the course of their separations only enhanced the romance and wooing of it all. And, finally, when Elizabeth herself was twenty-one years of age, their engagement was publicly announced, much to the scandalous awe of both Elizabeth’s family and the British public. For it wasn’t exactly as though Philip was a catch by royal standards. Not only were his finances middling, but he was also viewed as “lesser than” because he was a foreign born British subject made all the more controversial by having sisters who married Nazi-tied German noblemen. Elizabeth’s mother, in particular, felt Philip was a matrimonial choice under suited to Elizabeth. Of course, this probably made Philip all the more desirable to the future queen. And, as usual, whatever Elizabeth wanted, Elizabeth got as accommodations to “royal up” Philip included his renunciation of both his Danish and Greek titles, an official conversion from Greek Orthodoxy to Anglicanism, taking the British sounding last name of his mother’s family, Mountbatten, and, finally the creation of a phony baloney title: Duke of Edinburgh.
With all of these amendments in place, so it was that Elizabeth and Philip were married on November 20, 1947 in the pomp and circumstance environment of Westminster Abbey. And even the queen suffered the residual effects of the Second World War, adhering to the required ration coupons that would purchase the materials for her wedding gown. Being the first modern royal wedding of the century (to be usurped only by Prince Charles and Princess Diana), the pressure to be the perfect couple immediately descended upon Elizabeth and Philip. And, in no time, they were popping out the required “issues” to perpetuate their legacy. Starting in 1948 with the man who would never take the throne, Prince Charles, Elizabeth and Philip kept the birthing momentum going with Princess Anne in 1950. Princes Andrew and Edward would follow in 1960 and 1964, respectively, showing a certain cautiousness in their birth planning. Or maybe they were just so rarely bequeathed with “quality” time.
As they often say, the secret to any great marriage—or at least one that can last—is a fair amount of separation. And as Philip was often stationed in other areas as a Royal Navy officer, there was plenty of time apart. Later in life, Philip frequently engaged in solo sojourns at the homes of mutual friends, ergo making it almost impossible for him to cheat without the chance of gossip spreading. Then again, a European man can always get away with infidelity if it’s kept hush hush enough–especially if he’s a royal. But one doesn’t want to think that way about the only exemplar beacon of hope when it comes to lifelong “mating”–penguin-style. And through the ups and downs both personal and political (most notably during Princess Diana’s death and the mob mentality that arose in England due to Queen Elizabeth’s presumed callousness), the royal bulwark that is their marriage has weathered it all. And maybe, just maybe, Elizabeth and Philip can provide evidence that a longstanding shared history is what enriches a relationship, not eats away at it–as so many fuckboys seem to believe. So raise your goblet and say “Happy seventieth anniversary” to the last of the monogamists this November 20th.
