There aren’t really too many scenarios in the realm of Kylie Jenner spawning another member of the Kardashian/Jenner brood at the tender age of twenty that could precisely be perceived as “positive.” In her former role as what TIME once called one of “the most influential teens,” Kylie is proving to misuse her clout in her transition into alleged adulthood (still somehow believed to be the moment one leaves her teens). Rather than at least attempting to carry on with the illusion of being some kind of business mogul (even though, frankly, we could all be moguls with that kind of capital), it’s as though Kylie has decided to say, simply, “Fuck it, I’ve got money, let me just do what the legacy of women in my family has always done best: breed.”
And what else have the women in her family established as a time-honored and lucrative tradition? Allying with rappers and/or professional athletes (that is to say, black men are their fetish). Giving them the sort of credibility that hopelessly white girls like Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan could never hope to have even in their peaks, the Kardashians and the Jenners have somehow managed to up their ethnic cachet by solely pursuing what only LL Cool J and Django Unchained have been permitted in the mainstream to call mandingos. And with Kylie’s unborn heir already reported to be a girl, it’s likely her black-Armenian combination will make her no match for the “ordinary” blackness of Beyonce and Jay-Z’s kids. Not that Kimye didn’t already make that statement with North and Saint (still probably the antichrist). Tragically for Kim, this announcement comes on the heels of her admitting to her own–well, her surrogate’s own–pregnancy with a third baby, in a presumable attempt to one-up the royalty on the other side of the pond. This, in turn, has begat fan conspiracy theories that Kylie must be the surrogate. Oh, how deranged the Kardashian fanatics are. Or are they just deranged enough to right? Whatever the reality (so subjective, apparently, nowadays), the worst case scenario for this inevitably unfortunately named creation is that, as we can all see coming from a mile away, Kylie and Travis break up, shack up with other people and continue the other Kardashian/Jenner tradition of “parenting” half-siblings.
In the best case scenario, another spoiled celebrity child is born (let’s just say you shan’t see the Scott-Jenner household raising their spawn with the same iron fist as Madonna). All one can truly say is that even for as inappropriately young as Kylie is to become a mother, her kid has got to be better off than Dream Renée, as of yet unwitting daughter of Blac Chyna and Rob Kardashian. It really makes one question if PTA meetings ought to be abolished just to spare these Kardashian/Jenner progeny the embarrassment of cameras flooding the auditorium to catch a fight ensue.
