“We’re back… not that we ever went anywhere.” So goes the catch phrase that Nicolas Cage (or rather, a fictionalized version of him) likes to keep telling both his alter ego, “Nicky” (fashioned after his Valley Girl-era self… but also the self that appeared on Wogan in 1990), and his agent, Richard Fink (Neil Patrick Harris). It is the latter who seems to relish the pain of the film business far more than Cage, as he takes him for a “relaxing” massage that consists of having their bodies pummeled. And maybe part of Richard liking pain so much is why he has Cage as a client. But Richard assures Nic something to the effect of “the more pain the better.” And maybe that is the case in terms of lending inspiration to Cage’s acting abilities, having portrayed a fair share of tortured characters in his day.
Including Cameron Poe in Con Air, which opens The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent as Maria (Katrin Vankova), whom we later find out is the daughter of a certain presidential candidate a certain cartel doesn’t want in power, watches in awe at his performance. Enjoying the movie with her boyfriend, the two are interrupted by a bevy of thugs set on kidnapping Maria. One of many pieces of the movie, written by Kevin Etten and Tom Gormican (with the latter directing), that can seem like a non sequitur until everything is tied together at some point or another.
After Maria’s abduction (to the tune of the Con Air hit, “How Do I Live”), we get a moment that smacks of meanwhile in: “Los Angeles, California” (per the title card’s needless prompt). Because that’s where Cage is having an interview, of sorts, at the Chateau Marmont (since, as we all know, celebrities don’t really give a fuck about the ongoing controversy behind supporting it) with David Gordon Green. This in itself being another allusion to a Cage movie, specifically the one Green directed: Joe.
But even reducing himself to an impromptu reading of the script for Green doesn’t end up landing him the part. The sole topic he can focus on, even during his joint therapy session with his daughter, Addy (Lily Sheen, whose real-life celebrity parents are Michael Sheen and Kate Beckinsale). It becomes clear throughout this brief scene that Cage’s ego is the only thing he has room to truly nurture in his life, constantly imposing his tastes and interests onto Addy, who, no, does not think The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari is a masterpiece. The man who does, however, is awaiting his idol on the other side of the Atlantic. Namely, on the magical island of Mallorca, where he has offered to pay Cage a million dollars to appear at his birthday party. And yes, many are aware that these types of monetary exchanges occur all the time between rich people and famous people who need to stay rich (save for Madonna, who is probably the only celebrity who would never partake of a private performance of this nature).
Being that the “real” Cage is rather infamous for having financial and real estate woes, it only makes sense that he would come around to this offer (presented to him by Richard) sooner or later. And, after not landing the role in Green’s new movie, he also decides this would be just as good a time as any to quit acting altogether and take more time to be a “family man” (also the name of one of his many underappreciated works).
Upon arriving to the Balearic island, Cage is met by Javi Gutierrez (Pedro Pascal), who does his best not to totally fanboy out at the sight of his longtime hero. When he goes up the stairs to tell his employee (and not-so-secret crush), Gabriela (Alessandra Mastronardi), that meeting him was “fine,” she probes him for how he really feels, giving Javi the sanction to gush about the encounter. Anyone with a certain celebrity idol (and most people have one) would surely do the same.
Cage, however, is less than enthused to be there, essentially wanting to drink his way through the performance that is “being Nic Cage.” Ergo another referential scene of him sinking into the bottom of the pool with a beer in hand that harkens back to Leaving Las Vegas (and also, even though he wasn’t in it, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off). There are other callouts from his filmography that don’t get full-blown meta, like The Rock, Moonstruck and, um, The Croods. Oh yes, and, of all things, Captain Corelli’s Mandolin (note: markedly missing from being mentioned at all is City of Angels). Guarding Tess also gets some major play as the film that apparently brought Javi and his father closer before the latter died. Cage replies to this impassioned speech that he knows what it’s like to inhabit the skin of a character with warring allegiances, since, evidently, that’s what he’s turned out to be after the CIA enlists him to help with their mission to rescue Maria—the girl from the very beginning of the movie, in case you forgot. But Cage is insistent that his “nouveau shamanic thespian” intuitiveness has informed him that Javi couldn’t possibly be capable of what they’re saying.
Nonetheless, Vivian (Tiffany Haddish) and Martin (Ike Barinholtz), the agents on the case, assure him that all their intel insists otherwise. Appealing to him by reminding him of how vulnerable his own daughter is, Vivian is the one to convince Cage to go through with the covert operation. Which goes awry when he touches his own forehead with a drug-laced fingertip that ends up starting to paralyze and knock him out. It is only when Vivian abruptly calls out “action!” into his earpiece to awaken him from his near-blackout state that he rises again and gives himself the injection that brings him back to life so that he can get Vivian and Martin the security footage access that they need.
And yet, not even briefly dipping his toe into the “heroic” role of “spy” can distract from how the crux of this movie serves as yet another debunking tool of celebrity in the same way Johnny Depp and Will Smith have done so without bothering to present such debunking in any “artful” manner. With The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent, the intent is to be “in” on the ongoing “joke”/unraveling of A-list Hollywood actors as we once viewed them. Not to mention the Hollywood system as a whole. As the internet and all its “social” apparatuses have come to prove, the “democratization” of entertainment has not only deglamorized just about everything, but also actively railed against those who would dare to continue parading a glamorous lifestyle once so shrouded in mystery and careful curation. In the present, those “once-influential” A-list stars have decided to let it all hang out in order to, apparently, stay relevant and “relatable.” Even if the entire point of stardom was to come across as aspirational. Or at least it was, once upon a time, in a place called the twentieth century.
Although, unlike other actors of the 90s currently grappling with pertinency issues, Cage tries his best to toe the line between caricature and “relatable,” there are still often moments in this too-meta-for-its-own-good narrative that patently miss the mark. And even one of the movie posters for The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent seems to “unwittingly” get meta about referencing another recent movie poster, one that does it better on the meta front: Everything Everywhere All At Once. Granted, the latter doesn’t have to contend with making a real person’s life and work the basis for its story. Still, one wonders if it might have been more entertaining to see Nicolas Cage and “Nicky” Cage as Evelyn Wang-like characters in a multiverse that could showcase all of his different film personae reacting and interfacing in various scenarios. It might, in fact, seem less slapdash than what comes across on the screen here instead.
