While some (read: conservatives) have been most “shocked” of all by the visual of Lil Nas X giving Satan a lap dance in the video for his latest single, “Montero (Call Me By Your Name),” perhaps the most controversial aspect about it is X’s boldness in making an Armie Hammer reference so soon after the recent accusations against him that keep coming like an avalanche (or a hungry, hyper-sexual cannibal). Of course, the song’s title isn’t really an allusion to what became Luca Guadagnino’s instant classic from 2017, but rather, to Lil Nas X’s own Christian name (though many “God-fearing” Republicans will never look at him as any such thing after this).
Which is why, in honor of its release, he wrote a letter to his fourteen-year-old self saying, “Dear 14 Year Old Montero, I wrote a song with our name in it. It’s about a guy I met last summer. I know we promised to never come out publicly, I know we promised to never be ‘that’ type of gay person, I know we promised to die with the secret, but this will open doors for many other queer people to simply exist. You see this is very scary for me, people will be angry, they will say I am pushing an agenda. But the truth is, I am. The agenda to make people stay the fuck out of other people’s lives and stop dictating who they should be. Sending you love from the future. lnx.” Ah, if only we could receive letters from our future selves (that is, solely if our future selves have gone on to become famous so as to reassure us that things actually will get better).
Directed by Tanu Muino and Lil Nas X himself, the video opens amidst the heavenly clouds with X narrating, “In life, we hide the parts of ourselves we don’t want the world to see. We lock them away. We tell them no.” You can see where he’s going with a Bacchus angle in tow. As this statement on repression is going on, the camera descends into a Garden of Eden-like world—or maybe something more inspired by Rome upon its initial founding. Indeed, as Lil Nas X concludes, “We banish them. But here, we don’t. Welcome to Montero,” it does sound and look an awful lot like he just wishes we could go back to the carnal days of ancient Rome. Either that, or he envisions an inverse Garden of Eden, where instead of no knowledge of sex (at least not anything beyond missionary) being the norm, it’s an infinite knowledge of how to switch all the positions (even better than Ariana claims to know how).
As a snake weaves through the garden, it winds around the tree where Lil Nas X is “innocently” playing his guitar. But as Britney once asserted, “I’m not that innocent.” A fact corroborated when a mysterious, alien-like being peeks from behind the tree, briefly scaring the shit out of Lil Nas X as he starts running from him (and his own true nature/feelings). But X can’t outrun his more attuned counterpart, suddenly appearing in everything until finally blocking his path and assuring, “I’m not fazed, only here to sin/If Eve ain’t in your garden, you know that you can.”
Soon, Lil Nas X giving in to his temptation seems to lead him to be put on trial, complete with chains, a screaming mob of an audience and another alter ego Lil Nas X who bears the aesthetic of Queen Charlotte in Bridgerton (and also early 00s Sisqo). At the last minute, an angel (also Lil Nas) appears from on high while the chained X floats up toward him. Out of nowhere (kind of like the case in FKA Twigs’ “Cellophane” video), a stripper pole materializes, enabling a newly minted fallen angel of a Lil Nas X to make the most glamorous entrance into hell on record.
Because the video clocks in at barely three minutes, Lil Nas X saves the most “scandalous” scene for last: twerking on Satan, who seems to want (desperately) to show that he likes it, but also doesn’t want to lose his stoic edge. Apparently lulling him into a submissive false sense of security, Lil Nas X snaps Satan’s neck unexpectedly so as to take over the crown. Therefore, it’s a New World Order in “hell.” The place where the debauched are deemed to belong. And yet, in Lil Nas X’s version, debauchery is just another word for finally being yourself. So yeah, technically, Armie Hammer could exist in this environment. But not Timothée Chalamet, who seems to embody a repressed aura in every way.
