To Be Paris Hilton’s $13,000 Pomeranian

Paris Hilton, of course, never ceases to amaze with regard to what sort of obscene purchase she’ll make next, but the latest one, a $13,000 Pomeranian that’s reportedly the smallest in the world, is by far her most absurd.

The breadth of Hilton’s wealth knows no boundaries, unfathomable to anyone on the outside looking in, and so, perhaps the only way to fully appreciate it without wanting to rob her à la Bling Ring is to envision yourself as Mr. Amazing.

Just think: lying on satin pillows all day, having a gorgeous piece of jewelry around your neck at all times, being carried everywhere and only to chic locations, enjoying nothing but the finest bottled water. If you envision this lovely existence happening to you instead of Mr. Amazing, you’ll not only transcend whatever poor person’s activity you’re partaking in during that moment, but you’ll also have less hateful feelings toward Paris Hilton for her richness. By looking at her from the perspective of Mr. Amazing, it’s impossible not to love her.