Progressively more confident and snarky with each passing album, Tove Lo has come a long way since the damaged psyche Queen of the Clouds persona she exhibited on her 2014 debut (most notably with “Habits [Stay High]”–a persistent post-breakup essential). Accelerating her recovery over the person who broke her heart by transforming into a bisexual woman of steel (who can give your boyfriend lessons in how to give head), Tove Lo is now coming for women everywhere in the guise of speaking to her best friend on her latest single, “Glad He’s Gone,” from her forthcoming fourth album, Sunshine Kitty.
Chanting in a very sunshiny voice indeed, “He’s gone, he’s gone/You’re better off, I’m glad that he’s gone,” at the intro to the song, Tove Lo proceeds to lay into all the ways her bestie’s boyfriend blows (and not in the head-giving way). Pointing out that her friend has done everything right–and worse, only catered to this asshole’s every whim–she sarcastically asks, “Did you go down on his birthday? (Yup)/Did you let him leave a necklace? (Yup)/Or did you show him all your crazy? (No)/Blow him up on the weekends (Hmm)/Did you give in to his ego just to give a little confidence?” When there’s no response to this last question, Tove Lo adds, “I think you know it’s time to let go.” Because nothing her friend does for this emotionally abusive cipher will ever be good enough, ergo she’ll never be able to achieve the happiness she’s so hollowly seeking in this relationship.
What’s more, Tove Lo points out “only one dick, that’s a bummer” (no homo pun intended) in between reminding her of all the fun nights out they once used to have before she was tied down by this oppressor. Of course, it gets weirdly possessive in the vein of Regina George/Janis Ian obsession territory when Tove Lo says, “You and me under each other’s wing/We were free ’til he spoiled everything.” Like, don’t get mad just ’cause your friend found steady dick and you didn’t. But other than that, “Glad He’s Gone” is in keeping with Tove Lo’s new standard of female empowerment. Of laughing off the antiquated notion that any “one guy” is worth getting wrinkles for as a result of the stress of concerning oneself over his bottomless needs. Because no matter how many times you bow to them, there will always be another way in which he can express disappointment plus a new demand.
And maybe men act this way because they’ve become hyper-aware of the ever-increasing paucity of straights packing penises in the world. But what they also have failed to take into account is that there’s never been a better time to be asexual and/or ho-ish thanks to the wide range of entertainment options presented to one in the twenty-first century. To boot, the romantic satisfaction women once thought they could only get from men has, more and more, been replaced by the platonic satisfaction of the female best friend duo (see: Broad City).
In the past, it was easy to shed tears over losing a bloke. Now, as Tove Lo oh so anthemically points out, the only tears to shed when a merciful end ensues are the ones from your vag as you “never go dry this whole summer/Wanna get over, get under.” Ideally get on top though–that’s the optimal orgasm position.
